


All Men's Souls

by MoriartyMastermind



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: AU, Angst, ColdFlash Big Bang 2020, Immortal! Barry, Immortality, M/M, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, Violence, immortal au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:42:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 41,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27780961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoriartyMastermind/pseuds/MoriartyMastermind
Summary: When Barry Allen was 11-years-old a yellow man in the lightning did kill his mother, the impossible did happen that night, and his father was taken away for her murder. And when Barry Allen awoke from a coma in 2014, nine months after being struck by lightning the impossible happened again, and he is now the fastest man alive. The only problem is that those two events are separated by 389 years, and he was called Bartholomew back then.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 187
Collections: Coldflash Bang 2020





	1. Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms.

Bartholomew Henry Allen was born in the year 1614 in England. He doesn’t remember England. He’s never been back to England, his accent lost to time, and he travelled with his parents on the Mayflower to the land of opportunity in 1620.

How did he become this way? He doesn’t know, but he assumed something happened to him the night his mother was murdered. A strange man in yellow, with eyes of a demon, rushing to kill his mother. His father was out chopping wood. Bartholomew ran as far as his legs would take him and when he came back his father stood accused of his mother's murder. Bartholomew screamed that it was demon, a man in yellow garment. No one believed him, and after speaking twice his mouth was shut forever on the subject – speaking like that could get him killed.

His father warned him, "Do not speak of this ever again. The hot awl will press your tongue, or they will hang you like they will hang me. Or lay you out on a cross to burn. Hold your tongue, take care of our land, and you will be rewarded in the afterlife."

So Bartholomew listened. 

He moved on, he lived his life, he became a farmhand and soon tended to his own land. And he lived well. Bartholomew was well-respected, his crop was blessed nearly every year. Though he was often spoken of in hushed tones about his lack of wife or child, there was no doubting that he had brought quite a lot to their small settlement. 

On his 25th birthday Bartholomew woke with glowing skin, not glowing in the ‘great’ sense but literal glowing skin - bright and golden. It burned to touch, and that day he did not open the door for anyone, lest he be accused of witchcraft, and claimed illness.

The next day the glow was gone, he thought the devil may have possessed him. Of course, Barry doesn’t think such things anymore - but when he was young, that was the only explanation for any sort of mental break or problem… It was what he was taught. When someone was depressed, or even just sick, it was blamed on the devil. His neighbors asked whether he’d sinned recently, perhaps without knowing, and this is why he was sick the previous day.

Bartholomew did not let himself dwell, because dwelling bred ill thoughts and ill thoughts brought ill tides.

The year passed by without problem, his crop died for the winter and he rested and waited until the next year. And the next year, and the next year, and the next years on before he looked in the mirror again one day and realized his skin still looked taut and clear, young, devoid of any wrinkles or sunspots one would expect from a hard-working farmer. His hands were soft, his hair was bright and brown.

He was 45 years old. Only twenty years later.

It feels so long ago now, when Barry thinks of it.

He left his village soon after that.

He learned to keep quiet about his youth. He moved from place to place. He has lived in every state for a few years, taking time to build some identity there. In the 1600s it was easy, he could be a nomad, he could live simply. The same was true for the 1700s, then the 1800s.

He learned so much in that time. He visited as many schools as he could, one of his first visits was to Harvard University in 1670. It was there he learned to read and write. He became a minister for a while before moving on.

Nearly a hundred years later he visited University of Pennsylvania. It was there he learned about something other than theology. UPenn was lovely. He learned about the arts. UPenn still holds a place in his heart, and he’s visited it a few times again over the years.

It was only until the mid-1800s that Bartholomew discovered biology. He loved biology. In the late 1800s he learned that ailments were not caused by the four humors, the devil, nor miasma, but by something else called “germs.”

He was doctor for a time. In 1918, he decided he didn’t have the heart to continue.

So, Bartholomew kept moving. It did not take long for him to learn that injuries did not affect him. Small scrapes would heal too quickly. In 1863 he was shot while serving in the Civil War. Right in the chest. He survived, and he left his small town soon after because of suspicion.

He’s loved people before. He’s told them about his everlasting youth, about his healing and about the things he's seen.

But that’s for another time.

It was only until the 1900s that things became very difficult for him. It was no longer easy to get jobs, to enroll in colleges. His fake papers weren’t accepted anymore, he didn’t have references. He had a social security number from the 1940s, but people ask too many questions in the 20th century.

This only got worse when things moved online. If the 20th century was hard, the 21st century was impossible.

In 2006, Barry moved to Star City. He enrolled in the Star City college without much hassle. He said he was 17 (which was easier than it seemed considering how youthful he looked; despite the fact his physical age was 25.) He still loved biology, but he decided to try his hand at something new and enrolled in the forensics program.

It only took him two years to complete his degree, then he moved on to the PhD program. His teachers were very impressed with his knowledge and how quickly he picked up the program. He completed it in record time, only five years.

After graduating, he had a wealth of jobs to apply to. He wanted to work for the CSI department of Star City, but he was also considering working for Queen Consolidated. Working for the police department was risky, they would need to do a background check – which wouldn’t work for him.

So, he applied to the science department of Queen Consolidated. And there, he met Felicity Smoak.

He got a call one night, “Hi, is this Bartholomew?”

“Barry.”

“Oh – okay. Barry I was looking at your application, and it was sent over to me in IT because we have a new guy going through applications. And I mean, he’s hot, but dumb. I mean, not hot, but he is – anyways,”

“Where is this going?” Barry asked.

“Well, I was looking through your application and putting it through the system. There were some inconsistencies, so I ran the background check,”

“Background check? What background check?”

“Oh yeah, usually we don’t do that, but I figured that it would be proper considering the inconsistencies – and anyways, you’re not listed on any formal computer system. Your degrees are legitimate but everything else is weird and this is super odd. I would call my superiors, but you seem like a smart guy so I’m not going to…”

There’s no need to go through that whole conversation.

The talk with Felicity was long, but Barry ended up telling her the truth after several intense chats. Chats where she refused to believe him. Chats where he managed to stab himself in front of her and showed himself healed the next day. Which he regretted… But Felicity was excellent with computers and Barry needed an identity in the 21st century. He would do anything to keep on going, anything that would prevent the government from finding out about him.

Felicity made him an identity.

The new Barry Allen was born on March 14th, 1989, his mother died in childbirth, his father is unknown – and he grew up in various foster homes with terrible record keeping. Until he emancipated himself at 16, moved to Star City from a little town in Virginia and enrolled in Star City college.

But Felicity’s interest in Barry did earn him more attention than he’d like. And he decided it was best to move on again. So, he got a job at the Central City Police Department as a forensics specialist. Thanks to Felicity, the background check went through without a hitch. 

He still calls Felicity every week or so to chat and to ask for help when he needed it. It was nice to have a friend again.

Things were fine. He was getting used to Central City. It seemed like a good place to settle down for the next twenty years or so before his youth would be questioned… Then things changed.

* * *

Darkness engulfed Barry’s vision. He felt a deep warmth within his chest grow, the warmth felt familiar and comfortable. He heard music. The music was familiar too and Barry found himself smiling despite seeing only darkness. It had been dark for so long, but maybe it was time to open his eyes. So he did.

The music may have been familiar (Lady Gaga), the warmth was familiar, but the surroundings were not. There was man singing in front of him.

“No, you can’t read my poker fa-” the man turned to look at him. “Oh, my god!”

“Where am I?” Barry asked.

The man didn’t respond and instead used some sort of comm system to call for someone.

A woman was there too. She pressed Barry’s head down and shined a light in his eyes, “Pulse 120, pupils equally reactive to light.” Barry turned away and blinked a couple times to get the spotters out his eyes.

Barry got out of the bed he was laying in and the man came up to him, consoling him.

Barry thought was acting pretty calm.

“You’re at STAR Labs,” the man told him.

“STAR Labs?” Barry recognized that name. He had been interested in them for a while now. “Who are you?”

“I’m Cisco Ramon. This is –” he gestured to the woman. “This is Dr. Caitlin Snow.”

“I need you to urinate in this,” Dr. Snow thrust a cup in his direction and Cisco pushed it away.

Barry took a deep breath, “Can one of you tell me what’s going on?”

Cisco nodded, “You were struck by lightning, dude.”

Barry wasn’t sure why Cisco was smiling while he said that. Barry rubbed his eyes and turned to look in the mirror near his bed side, his eyebrows shot up. He had abs. He hasn’t had abs in… quite a long while, “Lightning gave me abs?”

Dr. Snow responded, “Your muscles should be atrophied but instead they’re in a chronic and unexplained state of cellular regeneration.”

“Atrophied?” Barry turned to her. “Why should they be atrophied?”

“You were in a coma.”

Barry paused. He can’t be a in coma. He’s never been in a coma before and he’s been through far worse, “For how long?”

“Nine months.”

Nine months. Okay, nine months was nothing. That was a blink in time. Not long enough for them to start questioning him about anything.

“Welcome back, Mr. Allen,” Barry turned and saw the one and only Dr. Harrison Wells standing in front of him. “We have a lot to discuss.”

* * *

Barry stood as Dr. Wells, Dr. Snow and Cisco explained his situation to him. Barry learned overtime that hard news was best taken standing. It seems counterintuitive, but just consider the fact that you may need to run at any moment.

Anyways…

He had been in a coma for ninth months. It was from the particle accelerator exploding. He had a heartbeat so fast that EKGs can’t detect it. And somehow, he was in a state of cellular regeneration while in a coma.

That last one didn’t surprise him. Cellular regeneration would explain well… most things. He's done tests on his physiology before, but not with any recent technology. 

“Huh,” Barry thought about what they told him. This was, not fun, but he could move on. “Do I still have my job?”

“Do you still have your – what?” Cisco laughed. “Bro, you’ve been in a coma for nine months and your question is whether you still have your job?”

Barry shrugged, “I need to make money somehow.”

Dr. Wells reassured him, “Not to worry Dr. Allen, we informed your workplace at the CCPD about your situation.”

Barry nodded, “Okay. Uh, well I feel fine. Can I go home now?”

Cisco looked surprised again. It was Dr. Snow who answered.

“We’re not keeping you here by force, Barry, but the way your cells act is… amazing. And we’d love to keep doing tests to find out why –”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Barry said. “But I don’t want to be a lab rat.” He had been avoiding that potential for at least 50 years now, and he’s not going to stop anytime soon.

“You wouldn’t be a lab rat,” Cisco answered. “But like we said we’re not forcing you to stay here and hold on–” He gasped. “You’re awake! Do you need to call anyone? We tried to see if you had any family or friends, but we couldn’t really find anyone.”

Barry frowned. He only moved here a couple months ago, “I only moved here a couple months ago, so I don’t have many friends. And I don’t have a family, I grew up in foster care. I do think I should call a friend in Star City though. Do any of you have my phone?”

“Oh,” Cisco got up and grabbed a plastic bag and started rustling through it. “Yeah of course, hold on,” he rustled for a few moments before grabbing a phone from it. He glanced at it for a few seconds, “This guy is a dinosaur. Is this from the 90s?”

“2003 Nokia. They last a long time,” Barry answered. He didn’t exactly call many people and he owned a laptop. There’s no need for a computer in his pocket, and the whole World Wide Web thing still confused and scared him. And texting was an inefficient mode of communication when he could just call someone or speak face to face.

Cisco hummed and then handed it over, “And this is the rest of your stuff in the bag so feel free to just, take all of it.”

“Thanks,” Barry took the bag from him. “Can I… go home? Do I need to call the CCPD to tell them I’m awake?”

“I’ll call your workplace Dr. Allen and have them follow-up with you,” Dr. Wells answered. “Go home. But be sure to let us know if anything… strange happens. We want to make sure you’re healthy. That’s our top priority.”

“Uh, ok,” Barry smiled. “Thank you, really. I appreciate being taken care of.”

Barry nodded, turned around and rushed out of STAR Labs before they could get another word in. The people at STAR Labs seemed nice enough, but Barry did not need that kind of attention in his life. He didn’t need any sort of attention for the next eternity.

Barry had learned that making lasting attachments usually ended badly. Not only would they pass away before him, but they would question his youth until the moment he needed to fess up. He felt horribly about it every minute he was with a person.

Felicity was the one exception in the past two decades, because Felicity was smart enough to figure out something was off. He couldn’t risk that sort of opportunity for Dr. Snow, Wells or Cisco. These seemed like decent enough people, very intelligent people, and he was certain with a little more pushing they would find out something was off.

He walked straight out of the building and found himself taking a long walk to his apartment complex. Once Barry got home, he plugged in his phone and waited for it to turn on. He called one of the few numbers he had saved: Felicity.

It only made half a ring before he nearly lost his hearing.

“Where the hell have you BEEN?! It’s been MONTHS! I have been calling! And I emailed you! And I tried to contact you because apparently a few people have been searching your name. I got several pings, and I was trying to tell you that someone was researching you – but don’t worry they didn’t get anywhere close to finding anything out. As far as anyone can tell you’re a Virginian small-town boy through and through – but that’s not the point. Apparently, you were checked into a hospital. And then you disappeared, and I was so worried, and no one called me. I called the hospital, but they wouldn’t give me any information because I wasn’t family. But apparently, according to the records I hacked you were discharged? And you were struck by lightning!? But I still couldn’t get in contact with you and –”

Barry was stunned into silence but finally interrupted, “Felicity! Felicity can you please stop for a moment. I’m okay, I was in a coma.”

“That was in your records, but you were in the hospital for such a short amount of time,” Felicity’s voice was shaking. “I got really nervous. I know you have really weird healing powers, and I was afraid the government got you or something.”

“I was apparently taken in by STAR Labs, and they helped me out and got me back to health. I only just woke up,” Barry answered calmly. “I’m sorry to have worried you.”

“Well now I feel like a jerk,” Felicity sighed. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. You have nothing to be sorry about you were in a coma. And how did that happen? I thought you couldn’t get hurt for any long amount of time.”

Barry frowned in thought, “I believed the same. But apparently it happened. And I’ve been told I have fast regenerating cells, so that likely explains my healing process.”

“STAR Labs knows about your healing?!” Felicity yelled again and Barry had to take the phone away from his ear.

Barry brought the phone back, “They don’t really. I think they believe it is from the lightning.”

“You have to stay away from them, Barry. STAR Labs are smart people. I have a difficult time trying to keep Oliver in check when it comes to you, how can I handle the entirety of the STAR Labs on my back.”

Barry met Oliver a total of one time, shortly before leaving Star City. And he was a scary guy, very clearly the Arrow. Barry’s learned a few things. If there’s anything Barry prided himself on figuring out over the years, it was reading a person. Sure, it took him nearly 200 years to figure it out, but once he did, he became a natural. Oliver was suspicious of Barry nearly immediately.

“I’m sure you can handle it.”

Felicity laughed, “Yeah, you’re right. I can handle it. I can fondle anything. I mean handle.”

Barry laughed at the phone and took a deep breath. His stress started to melt away. He trusted Felicity, “Thank you. I really mean it.”

“Do you need anything? Do you want me to drive over?” Felicity asked. But Barry could hear the hesitance in her voice. She was probably busy, but ever the helpful type.

“I’m fine, Felicity. Don’t worry about me.”

“I’ll always worry about you, Bartholomew.”

“You know I prefer Barry, these days.”

“I know, just checking to make sure you’re not a clone of the real Barry Allen.”

Barry laughed again, “Talk to you later, Felicity.”

“Bye! Keep me updated on your STAR Labs problem!”

Barry hung up and stretched. He felt incredibly hungry. Well, he was in a coma for nine months. It makes sense he would be hungry.

Barry stood up, pocketed his cellphone, rummaged through the items he was given, found his wallet, and walked back out of his apartment. He took the short walk to CC Jitters, since it was the closest place near him that sold any sort of food. Barry couldn’t help but feel off on the way there, like his perspective was slowed. He was probably low on blood sugar.

He walked into Jitters and waited in line. He ordered his usual vanilla latte and a bagel, he took it from the barista, tipped and was about to walk to his usual table when the barista stopped him, “Hey, you’re Barry, right?”

Barry tilted his head, it took him a moment, but then he glanced at the nametag and remembered that this was the girl who usually served him. He had been a regular here ever since he moved to Central City, “Yeah, I am. Iris, right?” He gestured to the nametag and smiled.

“You work at the CCPD?”

Barry frowned; he didn’t remember telling her that.

Iris must have noticed his expression because she smiled brightly. She really was a beautiful woman, “Sorry, if that seemed weird. I’m not a stalker. My dad works at the CCPD and you don’t hear about people getting struck by lightning every day. How are you feeling? I’m on my break, in just a minute, by the way. Do you want to join me?”

Barry hesitated. But ultimately gave in. He can make acquaintances, just not close friends, “Sure.”

She smiled, “Great! Just sit down and I’ll follow when I’m off.”

Barry smiled back and went to sit at his usual table. He waited for moment and then something caught his eye. He stared as a waitress, in slow motion, dropped a mug of coffee and then time sped up again. Barry frowned at the moment but was broken out of his stupor when Iris sat in front of him.

“Hey, I want to apologize if you think this is weird, I’ve been taking a journalism class and I’ve been told if you’ve heard an interesting story, go ahead and chase it.”

“I’m an interesting story?” Barry asked.

“Of course! Guy struck by lightning during the particle explosion, miraculously survives, in coma for nine months and then awakens. It’s a fun story. You also seem nice, and I’m also told it is good to cultivate sources.”

“Sources?”

“You’re nice and you work for the CCPD. The CCPD has a wealth of information, maybe you can help me with a tip someday,” Iris added.

Barry paused, “You know I can’t do that.”

“It doesn’t hurt to try,” Iris smiled. “What’s your number?”

This woman was quite a beautiful, smart and engaging person. And if Barry were younger, maybe 150 years younger, he might have taken the chance. But he’d learned a long time ago that it was never a smart move, “I’m not looking for a relationship.”

Iris once again gave a blinding smile, “I’m not either and don’t tell my dad about this if you see him, but I’m already in a relationship. I just want your number in case I need a source, or maybe a friend.”

“Who’s your dad?”

“Joe West. Don’t tell him I told you I was in a relationship.”

“And why’s that?”

“He would be very angry if he found out I was dating his partner.”

Barry racked his brain for the name, “Edward?”

“Eddie Thawne,” Iris confirmed. “I told you a secret, you might as well offer me your phone number.”

Barry gave in and handed his phone over to her. It didn’t hurt to have a couple more people in his corner in Central City, and Iris seemed nice enough.

She took it and whistled, “Wow, this is old. I’m not even sure I know how to add any contacts.”

“I’ll eat my bagel while you figure it out,” Barry said then took a bite of the food in front of him. It didn’t take long before Iris handed the phone back.

“Well, my break isn’t all that long, so I’ve got to go back to work. Good talking to you, Barry!”

“You too,” Barry answered with a mouth full of bagel. It didn’t take long for him to finish both his coffee and bagel. Well, he had a full day ahead of him so he might as well go to the station. It was only a block away. He could tell them himself he could start work tomorrow, or even today if they needed him.

Barry stood up and walked out of CC Jitters, he waved goodbye to Iris on his way out. He took a deep breath and looked around him, he had never lived in Central City before, but it always felt familiar to him. Many cities felt that way, the paths and roads often mimicked those he walked before. But Central City was just that more intense in its familiarity, and he wasn’t sure whether he felt comforted by it or unsettled by it.

He made it to the CCPD and walked in. He kept his laminate in his wallet, so it was easy to show it to the front desk, “Hi, my name is Barry Allen, and I had a job as a forensic analyst here nine months ago. I know STAR Labs called but I wanted to know when I could come back to work?”

The front desk lady looked at him like he had two heads, “Didn’t you just wake up from a coma?”

“Uh, yeah, but I’m feeling much better.”

“Well, we have a temp working as a forensic analyst here at the moment and we need to give them at least a week notice before they can be transferred to another department,” she typed on a computer in front of her. “I can get that process started for you now, but are you sure you want to return so soon? If working at a police department means anything, we have a pretty good healthcare policy. You’ve been gone for a while, but you have the right to take a longer time off for physical therapy and recovery.”

Barry shook his head, “Thank you, but I’m ready to go back to work.”

She nodded and typed on the computer again, “Alright, we have your number and email on file. We’ll contact you as soon as we’re all set for you to come back.”

“I appreciate it, have a nice rest of your day.”

Barry began to walk out of the police station, satisfied that he had done something with his day other than sitting in a hospital bed. Sure, he has forever to survive, but living means doing something with his life. Being productive. He’s spent so many years going in and out of stupors, where he doesn’t eat, barely sleeps and does nothing. He’s taken desperate measures to cure his immortality.

None of it worked.

Productivity helped him, just a bit. It fixes the deep gnawing inside of him, and his yearning to make some small difference. He has always chosen the career of someone who can help people. A farmer. A minister. A doctor. An activist. He even tried his hand at being a defense lawyer, though he realized that his mind was drawn more fondly toward the sciences. The forensics was his newest gig, something that can keep his mind occupied with thrilling science and help people along the way. He could stomach the murder. He could stomach the crime. He’s seen far worse over the many years.

Just as Barry was at the door to leave the police department, he saw someone about to be booked. The same thing happened in Jitters, where time slowed, and he saw the man reaching for an officer’s gun. Barry ran over and stopped it before the man could reach for the gun. And then things sped up again.

What just happened?

Barry took a steadying breath and looked around, but it didn’t seem like anyone noticed. He didn’t need to deal with this at a moment. Another lesson he's learned over the many years: Why bolt to solve something until you have somewhere to look for an answer. He spent so much time trying to solve his mother’s murder, the yellow light, the yellow man, his everlasting youth. But never even got close to an answer.

Barry walked out and noticed his hand was buzzing. Buzzing? How could a hand buzz. He needed to get out of sight, he walked to the back of the police station and found himself running into a police car. He gasped and stepped back. Barry needed to pause. He needed to think and let himself figure this out before he hurt someone.

His hand was vibrating, he ran incredibly fast into a car… Things weren’t slowing down, _he_ was going faster.

Barry tested his theory, and he ran. He ran faster than he had ever run before, he went faster cars and passed people and saw the city in a way he felt no one ever got to see it. He stopped in an alley and took another breath. Barry needed a lot of those lately.

Then he remembered something. It had been nine months.

“I’m 400-years-old,” Barry muttered at his shaking hands. Not just shaking, but buzzing, vibrating at a speed he couldn’t comprehend. “I’m 400-years-old and I’m the fastest man alive.”

He threw his head back and let out a strained laugh, sounding somewhat maniacal and close to a sob. Why did this happen to him? He missed his birthday this year. He was surprised he remembered it, but he always does and this year he missed his 400th one.

This year he turned 400 years old and he just ran faster than a car.

Barry dug for his phone and called Felicity, it only rang once, and she picked up.

“Hello? Barry?”

“Felicity, there’s something very odd happening.”

“What’s wrong, Barry?” Barry heard rustling and could only assume that Felicity was rushing to get up or put something away as she listened to him.

“I just ran faster than a moving car, my hands are vibrating, and things are going way slower than normal. I’m fast, Felicity. Faster than any human ever has been,” Barry answered.

“How is that possible, Barry?” Felicity sounded like she trusted him, believed him. Barry was glad for that. He had learned that sharing things to people he was close with mattered. Hidden secrets were always revealed… it was best to step out in front of something then let it find its way out in the open without your consent.

“I’m not sure if the lightning triggered something in me,” Barry shook his head. “I’m not entirely sure at all. This is the sort of phenomenon that doesn’t just happen. There are certain variables in the universe and – and,” Barry once believed in miasma and demons. He could believe in this. “I guess this is just another joy of science.”

“Barry, do you need me to come to you?”

Barry shook his head, but then realized that wouldn’t show through the phone, “I can handle things, Felicity. You told me that STAR Labs were smart people, right?”

“Yeah, I did,” Felicity said slowly.

“STAR Labs is aware of the fact that I have fast cells, they are aware that I was struck by lightning, and aware that the lightning gave me abs.”

“Lightning gave you abs?” Felicity questioned.

Barry continued on, “They know all these things about me. They already know something is off. Now, I thought that maybe I was at risk of them finding out about my,” He didn’t like saying the word immortality out loud. “My other impossible problem. But maybe they only need to find out about this one.”

“What are you saying? Are you saying that you want to go to STAR Labs about your speed?”

Barry thought for a moment, and then resolutely nodded. Again, he had to remember that Felicity could not see that through the phone, “I’m saying exactly that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, I know nothing about Felicity Smoak except for what I have seen on Flash. Also, this fic is completed and a chapter will be posted everyday. This chapter is somewhat of a prologue, the next we will be introduced to the lovely Leonard Snart. Also, I am happy to announce that the lovely [Aquafolie](https://aquafolie.tumblr.com/) has completed art for a later chapter in this fic.


	2. Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.

Sure, Barry expected the STAR Labs folks to help him out with his speed problem, but he didn’t quite expect things to go south enough where he was an everyday superhero.

“Give me another one, Cisco,” Barry was breathing hard. His feet burning on the pavement after having run for what was now a few hours. He’d been at it since the very early morning.

“You sure, man?” Cisco asked over the comms. “I mean you’ve been doing this for a while now and do you think we should slow down? You could hurt yourself.”

“I haven’t felt this good for a long time, Cisco.”

For once, Barry felt useful. He’d been sitting around for years, helping, sure. But really doing anything important? Making a difference? That’s something he’d tried to find for such a long time. This was something different and exciting.

“Ok, man. There’s a fire down on 7th and Lincoln. Go get ‘em.”

Barry was happy, a little lost. But happy.

“Barry, you need to take a sharp left at the fork,” Cisco guided in his ear.

Barry heeded the call and ran over. He was happy to be doing this, to make some sort of a difference. His job as a CSI was suffering because of it, and he was still learning how to set his boundaries. Cisco was nice, as was Caitlin, who he both considered to be friends. Sure, they keep inviting him out and he keeps declining but he just didn’t want to get too close.

Barry found the fire, rushed in and pulled everyone out before the building collapsed.

“Awesome!” Cisco cheered in his ear. “Why don’t you come on back and I can make sure the suit didn’t take any fire damage.”

“As opposed to me taking fire damage?” Barry asked.

“You heal incredibly fast, you’ll be fine,” Cisco said. Barry heard someone yell in the background, which he could only assume was Caitlin Snow complaining about his safety.

Barry ran back to the lab and ripped off his mask, smiling. He felt alive and happy. Barry felt actually happy, like he hadn’t felt in a long while.

Barry heard a phone ringing, his phone. It was left on the lab table; he didn’t usually keep it in his suit. Caitlin took the phone and handed it to him, “Iris again.”

Barry took the phone and answered, “Barry Allen.”

“Barry! It’s Iris, did you see the Streak save someone from a fire? Were you on forensics? Any chance you have a photo or any interesting sneak peaks?”

“I’m off this morning, Iris,” Barry answered. “Also, since when did you start calling it the Streak.”

“The Streak isn’t an “it” it is a “him” or maybe a “her” and I am going to start writing a blog about all they’ve done for this city,” Iris said. “Also, you’re always off when the Streak hits, I’m starting to think you’re just lying to me.”

Barry smirked, “Not lying, just unfortunate. And even if I were working this morning, you know I can’t give you any information.”

“You always say that,” Iris complained. “Alright, I’ll leave you be today. But the next time I know you’re on duty, I’ll be calling. I will seriously be asking my dad for your schedule.”

“I don’t think your father even knows my schedule; I barely talk to the guy.”

“I have my ways,” Iris said before she hung up.

Barry laughed as Dr. Wells came into the room. Barry clammed up and looked at him. He never felt quite comfortable around Dr. Wells. So far, the man has done nothing but helped him. But Barry got the impression that the helpfulness wasn’t so much for Barry’s benefit, as it is for Dr. Well’s own machinations. Barry wouldn’t push quite yet, but he’d keep a calm demeanor until he had more information.

Remember one of Barry’s many lessons? Why bolt to solve something until you have somewhere to look for an answer.

“Do you have something of a romance budding between you and Iris West?” Dr. Wells asked casually.

Barry shook his head, “Not at all. I barely know Iris aside from her pushing me to give her tips for a story and getting my coffee each morning.”

“Are you certain?” Dr. Wells asked again.

“Yes, I’m certain,” Barry answered and then he turned away and avoided the conversation. “I don’t think there’s any fire damage, Cisco.”

Cisco walked up to him from a desk computer, “That is my job to figure out. Not yours.”

That was when an alarm went off in the cortex. “There’s an armed robbery at 4th and Collins,” Caitlin said. “I don’t think the cops are close enough to stop it.”

Barry put his mask back on, “I can help out with this one.” Barry didn’t stop every crime; he made that clear before when it seemed like Cisco expected him to rush off and stop things before they happened. Sure, the cops in Central City weren’t always the best, but he learned that getting in the way of the police with simple crimes did more harm than good. In this case, with the cops far enough away where there’s no possibility for them to stop it. He went.

Barry rushed off before anyone could say anything different.

When Caitlin said an armed robbery, he wasn’t expecting one to go on in the middle of the street. Barry took down all the robbers and knocked man off the armored truck. He thought his job was finished when he heard shots.

The guard had been shot. As he ran over, he saw a glimpse of a man whose mask was off. He had blue eyes. There was no point in stopping him now, he asked his comms where the nearest hospital was and rushed the guard in.

* * *

Len was thrown to the ground and he had to gasp for breath the moment his back hit the hard asphalt. The mask on his face suddenly felt restrictive for his lungs and he tore it off. It was an amateur move. He should have never removed his mask.

There was a red flash and suddenly all his men were down. He knew a guard had been shot, and he barely paid a glance to the red line of light when it returned. They had to hurry now. Len shot up and put his mask back on, he hopped on his bike with one of his men and he sped away.

The cops couldn’t be far behind. They had three minutes. He took a sharp right and two lefts. The police route usually didn’t include back alley streets, so he made his way through them. Two minutes. Cops shouldn’t be headed in his direction now, but Len wouldn’t waste anytime taking the risk of slowing down. For all he knew whatever stopped them could have tipped the pigs off. Fifty seconds. What the hell was that anyway? This was the perfect plan. Twenty seconds. He took another screeching turn and hopped off the bike.

“Follow me,” he barked at the man who came with him. Another bike wasn’t far behind and he heard the whistling of a hard brake that indicated one of his men had followed him. They needed to fix that goddamn bike. Loud noises were not what they needed right now.

Len strode into one of his many dens of iniquity around Central City and didn’t bother to hold open the door for the men who followed him. He ripped off his mask again and quickly went to one of his worktables.

Len reached into one of his cargo pockets and took out the storage drive he managed to steal before that red blur showed up. His men started walking into the area, they began to take off equipment and their masks. Len inserted the drive into his laptop on the worktable and opened it.

As he waited for the drive to open, he took off his equipment and then went back to the computer as it notified him the drive was up. He scrolled to the proper time and clicked on the frames he needed.

“There’s been some rumors the last few weeks, people seen a red blur tearing through the streets. What the hell is it man?” One of his men asked. His name was Rogan. Not the smartest of the bunch, but certainly the mouthiest.

“Maybe it was a drone… Some top-secret army thing,” The smarter one spoke up. Luke.

Len took a closer look. This thing wasn’t a thing at all. It was a man, dressed in what appeared to be tight red leather. The man must be fast. Incredibly fast.

He glanced up to his men, “When I was a kid my grandfather used to take my sister and me to this diner, the Motorcar. Food was for crap, but the view was great. Right across from the Central City precinct. I still go there. I listen to their radios. I learn their response times. There are 40 banks in Central City, each of them within 60 seconds of police response. That’s the advantage of hitting a moving target,” Len continued. “Once the armored car called 911, we had 182 seconds before any cop could be on the scene. No one could have gotten there fast enough to stop us. But something did.”

Len looked up at his man. The mouthy one. Rogan.

“And you lost your cool,” Len said. “You know the rules. We don’t shoot guards or cops unless it’s the only option. We don’t need the heat.”

“The heat?” Rogan replied. He walked up to Len. Just that bit too close. Enough for Len to feel disrespected. “What the hell do you think the blur is, Snart?” Rogan asked. Len didn’t deign for a response to disrespect and he put his hand on his thigh, right where his pistol rested. “Right. Screw this. Screw you. I’m out.”

Len didn’t hesitate to pull the pistol out and shoot the man. There could be no dissent among his lessers, “Well if you’re out, you’re out.”

“This blur is a man. We’re gonna have to up our game.”

The two men left stood silently, one staring into space. The other trying, but failing, to not glance at the body in front of them.

“Clean this up,” Len told them. “I need to call someone.”

“Who?” Luke asked.

Len turned back, “I’ll tell you who if I need you to know. The first job has gone bad. We’re not working together on this anymore. You clean this up, I call my man and you leave as if we’ve never met before. Just like how it always is when we finish the job. Capisce?”

“But what about our cut of the money?” The quiet one finally spoke up.

Len turned to him, hand still on his gun, “What about your cut of the money?” Len didn’t plan on actually shooting the man. Rogan had been a pain for a while and this moment was the last straw. Mr. Quiet so far had done nothing wrong. But talking back wasn’t tolerated, and Len was always one to make a show of strength.

“I – nothing. Just call us for the next job,” He said. “If you need us.”

“I will,” Len answered.

Len didn’t bother to talk anymore on the subject. If he got what he wanted, he would be able to finish the job himself.

The blur was fast, he already knew that. Len wasn’t exactly a scientist, but he was smart enough to know that heat quickens molecules and cold slows them down. He knew a shady arms dealer that somewhat recently took experimental technology from STAR Labs. He needed to call them.

He dialed the number.

* * *

Getting the gun was easy enough. The arms dealer didn’t even bother to bring any back up with him. Which was ridiculous considering how many times that guy had fucked Len over before, he had it coming.

Len felt the coolness of the gun against his thigh. He just needed a test run, something to get this scarlet speedster out of the woodwork. Now that he knew the blur was a man it was certain that he’d saw Len’s face – and given the fact that this blur is known to be a “hero,” Len would bet his left foot that he’s been identified. The cops were no doubt monitoring the Kahndaq dynasty diamond for any suspicious activity.

All he had to do was take the tour twice to get their attention.

As he walked out onto the street, he saw cop behind him, and Len went running. In order to do a proper test run he needed the speedster on his trail, one beat cop wasn’t enough. Len booked it until he saw a police car show up. Perfect. He put on his goggles, grabbed the gun and twisted around to ice the road where the car had arrived.

The road was covered in ice and Len grinned. This was exactly what he needed. He went into the Central City theater where the cop followed him.

The man in red should be here at any moment. Maybe he just needed a little push, Len turned his gun to the cop. The scarlet speedster was fast, faster than any cop car or government drone. He would save the man.

Len turned and shot toward the cop. That was when the blur arrived and blocked the impact before it could hit the cop.

Excellent. The ice was non-lethal though, the speedster appeared slightly hurt, but was still running. The man was also talking to someone, but not the cop. Maybe comms? Len would have to consider who exactly the streak had in his corner for another time.

Len aimed and shot at the man again, but he was still too fast. Well now he knew how the gun worked, it was time to see how the man works.

“Time for a test run,” he announced loud enough for the man to hear. “Let’s see how fast you are.”

Len aimed toward the speedster and he was fast enough to run away. Alright, fast enough to save another two bystanders. He shot. The blur saved. He shot again. The man saved another two people. Len turned and saw an usher. The speedster was in his sight, certainly fast enough to get this man out of the way. Len shot.

And the usher was down. Shit. He didn’t exactly look alive either. Fuck.

The gun apparently was not non-lethal toward normal humans. So not only was the speedster fast, but he had some sort of healing effect.

Len wouldn’t let himself dwell, but he wouldn’t make that mistake again.

He ran away while the speedster was distracted and didn’t look back.

* * *

Barry wasn’t fast enough to save the man. He should have been, but he wasn’t. It always hurt when someone died on his watch, it had happened in the Revolutionary War. It had happened in the Civil War. That was expected of war, but now? With his powers? It stung more. Every life is finite, but it hurts to know that perhaps he had the power to actually do something and he didn’t. That cold gun was dangerous.

He was back at the lab while getting checked out by Caitlin and Cisco. He looked at the black around his midsection, it was healing slower than usual. Caitlin explained that if it weren’t for his healing, he would likely be dead.

“Snart isn’t a meta-human,” Barry explained. “He has a gun that freezes things, he shot me, and I slowed down.”

“STAR Labs built the cold gun,” Dr. Wells said.

Barry frowned. It made sense, according to the records on Leonard Snart they had researched together when he saw Snart’s face, Snart hadn’t even finished high school. The man was intelligent, but on paper it didn’t appear he could build this gun himself.

Cisco spoke up before Barry could say another word, “Dr. Wells and Caitlin had nothing to do with this. I built the gun.”

Barry felt surprised. He could imagine Dr. Wells building it, there was an obvious tension between them. But Cisco?

“You did?” He asked. “Why?”

“Because speed and cold are opposites. Temperature is measured by how quickly the atoms of something are oscillating. The faster they are, the hotter it is. And when things are cold, they’re slower on the atomic level. When there’s no movement at all it’s called – ”

“Absolute zero,” It was smart. Barry knew it was smart. It was a perfect way to stop someone with his speed.

“Yeah, I designed a compact cryo-engine to achieve absolute zero. I built it to stop you,” Cisco explained. “I – I know you’re a good person, Barry. I can tell. But I still don’t _know_ you. You don’t talk with us outside of the labs, you’re practically a ghost on paper and I needed to make sure you wouldn’t hurt anybody. I mean, what if you turned out to be some psycho like Mardon or Nimbus?”

“I – ” Barry felt some irritation and anger bubbling inside of him, but he knew it was displaced. Cisco was only doing what he had to do to keep people safe. “I understand.”

“You understand?”

“I do,” Barry said. “I understand you still don’t really know me, but I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell me. It’s important to tell a teammate that this gun is out there,” Barry tried to keep his voice low and understanding. He tried to let the ghosts of his past not overshadow the present moment. “We need to be prepared for this.”

“I know,” Cisco looked ashamed. “I know a man died because of me and – ”

Barry shook his head, “A man didn’t die because of you, Cisco. He died because of Leonard Snart. We still don’t know how we could have changed the outcome had I known about the gun, okay? It’s alright.”

“Okay,” Cisco nodded. “I’m gonna get to work to try and find Snart.”

* * *

It didn’t take long for Cisco to come up with an idea. Barry was glad he looked cheerier, probably because he still felt responsibility for the death of the usher. Cisco explained that if he hacked into the city’s network they could ping the gun and get “Captain Cold’s” (as Cisco now dubbed him) location.

“How long will that take?” Barry asked.

“I don’t know. About 30 minutes, maybe?” Cisco responded.

“That’s too slow,” Barry said.

“What?” Cisco seemed affronted.

“I couldn’t do it any faster,” Barry explained. “I’m not good with computers. But I have a friend who is.”

“Better than me?” Cisco asked.

“Yeah, and she knows about this whole operation so she can help,” Barry said as he pulled out his phone and dialed.

“She knows about us?” Caitlin asked. “Why didn’t you tell us someone else knew about this? How many people have you been telling?”

“Just her,” Barry answered. “Remember the friend in Star City I mentioned? This is her,” Barry put the phone on speakerphone. “Felicity I have you on speaker and sorry I can’t do the whole introduction, but I’m here at the cortex and we need help hacking Central City’s network, do you think you could do that?”

Felicity didn’t hesitate, “Of course,” he heard typing at the other end. “I’m in and I just pushed the information through to STAR Labs network. Why did you need that?”

“We’re catching a bad guy, I’ll explain later. Thank you!” Barry hung up before she could say another word.

Caitlin and Cisco looked amazed as the computers in the cortex popped up a notification.

Dr. Wells was the first to speak, “Felicity?” Wells paused. “I imagine that is Felicity Smoak. She has quite the resume for computers. But I’d recommend you tell us next time you choose to share information about what we’re doing here.”

Barry didn’t get to respond before Cisco was clicking the notification and pinging Snart’s location, “This is amazing. I’m triangulating Snart’s location.

“Your friend is quite talented,” Caitlin said. “We got him, he’s heading west on Nelson toward the train station.”

“If he’s leaving it appears Mr. Snart may have gotten what he came for,” Wells said.

Barry sped to get his suit on, “I’m going to try and stop him.”

Barry ran toward the direction of Snart and found him on a train.

He stopped and took a breath when he saw Snart, “There’s nowhere to run.”

“I didn’t see you before,” Snart said with a smirk on his face. “Your mom know you’re out past your bedtime?”

Barry couldn’t help but smile at the comment. Snart was 42 years old according to the information he read in Snart's file. Barry was 358 years older than the man and he chuckled at the humor of it. Of course, he’d look like just a kid to Snart.

“Appearances can be deceiving,” Barry answered. The man tilted his head and Barry couldn’t help but feel a twinge of heat and attraction in his stomach. Snart was a handsome man and Barry had a bad habit of being attracted to the “bad boys” before he swore off relationships for good. This man killed people. But Barry used to date a gangster in the 1920s, so it’s not as if Barry hasn’t made worse decisions when it comes to men.

“Really?” Snart smirked. “And what exactly is _deceiving_ about your appearance?”

Barry didn’t bother to answer, “You know if you wanted to get away you should have taken something faster than train.”

“That’s if I wanted to get away,” Snart answered. “I’ve seen your weakness. At the armored car, at the theater. See, while you’re busy saving everybody, I’ll be saving myself.”

And then Snart shot the floor of the train car.

That was _not_ what Barry had expected. But he did it, he sped everyone out before the train could crash and right as he left he was shot by a blast of cold.

“Pretty fast, kid,” Snart said. “But not fast enough.”

Again, with the age terms. Barry chuckled, “I told you appearances are deceiving.”

Snart’s cool exterior was broken for a moment and Barry could see a flash of confusion. Barry understood why, Snart wanted to kill him. Barry was frozen to the ground, and the gun was dangerous. It was possible Leonard Snart was even capable of killing Barry with that gun. But Barry didn’t feel afraid. After living so long, Barry would accept any fate. And when Barry looked back at the hand fate has dealt him – well, he just had a feeling he would survive this. Fate wasn’t kind enough to let him die.

Snart collected himself, “Thank you.”

“For what?” It was Barry’s turn to be confused. He hadn’t felt vexed by someone in a long while. This was a good turn of pace.

“You forced me to up my game, not only with this gun, but with how I think about the job. It’s been educational.”

Barry smiled again and Snart’s eyebrows also, once again, knitted together in confusion. It looked like Snart was about to lower his gun when Barry heard Cisco’s voice behind him.

“Drop it,” Barry turned to look behind Snart, where Cisco was holding what looked to be some sort of gun. “This is a prototype cold gun. Four times the size, four times the power.”

“I was wondering who you were talking to,” Snart said coolly as he lifted his gun up again.

“Hey!” Cisco shouted. “Unless you want a taste of your own medicine, I’d back the hell up.”

“Your hands are shaking, you’ve never killed anyone,” Snart said.

“There’s a first time for for everything, Captain Cold,” Cisco responded.

Barry saw as Snart tilted his head back and grinned. It was clear that he liked the name.

“I will shoot you,” Cisco warned.

Snart gave Barry a look, one that said: ‘ _You get load of this guy?_ ’ before he smirked again, “You win, kid. I’ll see you around.” He put down his gun and began to walk away.

“Hey, leave the diamond,” Cisco demanded.

“Don’t push your luck,” Snart said with his back toward them and continued to walk away.

There were a few beats of silence before it seemed like Snart was far enough away. Cisco smiled, “I couldn’t shoot him if I wanted to. This is STAR Labs vacuum cleaner. With a lot of LEDs!”

Barry couldn’t help but get the feeling that Snart was aware of that. It would explain the look that he gave Barry, and the comment about pushing Cisco’s luck.

* * *

For the weeks afterward Barry dreamed of Snart. Or Captain Cold, as they took to calling him. It was interesting.

Barry usually dreamed of the past, but this time he dreamt of blue eyes and a smarmy smile. He dreamt of a killer, but of someone who intrigued him. Barry went through so much and there was so much else his mind _should_ be focused on.

All except for a man who kidnapped Caitlin to try and get his identity. A man who should be in prison. That was unimportant.

What’s important is that the man in yellow was back.

He saw him, and he chased him, and he couldn’t catch him, and everything came rushing back.

This wasn’t possible. None of this was possible. He tried to solve this, but the man in yellow disappeared on him and he still didn’t feel close enough to the STAR Labs team to tell them. He didn’t even want to tell Felicity. What if the man in yellow was listening? What if he expected Barry to ask for help from people he’s close to? The man must be an immortal like him. It’s possible he’s been monitored his whole life. There was no telling how much this man may know. He didn't want to bring Caitlin, Cisco or even Dr. Wells, as much as he disliked the man, closer to this than need be. 

So, he kept silent. And he kept dreaming and planning silently. Barry was smart, he knows a great deal, and he’s been alone in solving problems before. But he really wished he could talk to someone right now. He considered Joe West.

Joe West was a harsh man, and he did not care for the normal Barry Allen in everyday life. But as the Flash he has been particularly helpful, apparently his daughter has been a big part of that. Iris West was a fan of the Flash and it’s possible she had been speaking about him to her father. Barry has conversed with Joe as the Flash before, he needed help from the force about dealing with meta-humans. But Joe was probably just a bit too harsh and hot-headed for Barry to confide in about his man in yellow problem.

And then there was the meta-human problem.

As of now, the police force was very aware of these meta-humans and Cisco was trying to design special cells to help hold them in Iron Heights. Barry had insisted that it was wrong to keep these people in the particle accelerator as a prison, not of all of them were bad people. Many of them were misguided and Barry had been visiting them, chatting with them.

He’d requested that Cisco create an open room for each of them to have time to do something every day. They provided books, games, there was even a basketball hoop. Barry already berated Cisco about meeting with these people only to hurt them.

He’d been made aware of the incident where Cisco played loud music to Hartley Rathaway. Barry had to calmly explain that what he had done was a form of torture, and Cisco thankfully got the point. Barry spent time with Rathaway after that, he apologized for Cisco’s actions and ended up playing a game of chess with him. The man wasn’t nearly as bad as Cisco acted like he was.

Today, Barry sat with Shawna Baez. Cisco liked Shawna, he sometimes cooked her enchiladas. Barry was fond of Shawna, as well. 

He always showed his true face to those meta-humans he knew were good at heart. He didn’t want to dress up as the Flash in front of them, it was too intimidating and came off as a show of force. The meta-humans they currently kept at STAR Labs just knew him as Barry. Though he suspected Rathaway knew his identity, Shawna didn’t seem to be aware of it.

“Do you want to play chess?” Barry asked.

Shawna shook her head, she was sitting at one of the couches they provided, toying with the seams.

“You know that the team just found out someone they thought was long dead is actually alive?” Barry offered. He was talking about Ronnie Raymond. Barry still didn’t feel particularly close to Caitlin Snow, but he could understand what it felt like to lose somebody he loved. “The team is shaken up about it. But I feel oddly calm and detached from it. I think they consider me more of an acquaintance than a friend. Which is fine, it’s what I want, anyway.”

Shawna still didn’t respond, but he could tell she was listening by the way she tilted her head in his direction.

“You know, I don’t like getting close to people anymore because I feel like I always lose them. Or something happens and things go wrong.”

“Don’t you think that’s selfish?” Shawna spoke up and turned to him. “If people want to get close to you isn’t it selfish to push them away just because _you_ feel bad.”

“I think it is,” Barry admitted.

“You know when I met Clay, he made me feel like I was the only girl in the world.”

“Some people make us feel that way,” Barry’s mind wandered to Snart again. And he shook the thought away. He barely knew the man. “We know that what you did was only because of him.”

“Is it though?” Shawna asked. “I did what I did out of my own volition. Nobody _forced_ me to do anything. I was going to be a nurse and help people, but he was just so alluring. I was an idiot to follow him.”

“Thank not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions; but those who kindly reprove thy faults,” Barry muttered.

“What does that mean?” Shawna asked.

“It means that sometimes the people who are best for us aren’t the kind of people who praise our every action, or the kind of people who make us feel like we’re always special and right. But instead, we need to find the kind of people that call us out on what we’ve done wrong and people who help us grow,” Barry continued. “The best kind of person is the sort that lets us know when we’ve made mistakes.”

“So I need to find someone who talks back?”

“Well,” Barry laughed. “Yeah, someone who talks back. And you also have to be the kind of person that talks back, don’t be afraid to call out others faults and don’t let them consume you.”

“You know for someone who looks a few years younger than I am, you act pretty wise,” Shawna said. “Do you think I’m getting out of here any time soon?”

“You still committed crimes, so we can’t exactly let you out on the streets as a wanted woman,” Before Shawna could respond Barry continued. “But I’ll definitely put in a good word for you and just recommend probation. I’ll also say that your time spent here was rehabilitation and that you’ve already done time served.”

“You sound like a lawyer,” Shawna said.

Barry laughed at the irony, “I’m not.” A warning bell went off around them and Barry stood up, “I need to go.”

As Barry was about to leave Shawna shouted, “Wait! You didn’t put me back in my cell, what if I try to escape?”

Barry turned back, “I trust you.” And then he left the room.

If Shawna chose to escape, he wouldn’t be the one trying to get her back in the room.

Apparently, Joe West had been kidnapped by a meta-human named Mark Mardon.

Barry sped over.

Barry stopped the tidal wave Mardon had created. 

And he fucking _time traveled_. Now _that_ , was a twist. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in this universe, because Joe West is not Barry’s foster father and because no one really knows all that much about Barry’s past, the Reverse-Flash is taunting Barry (to make him go faster like he wants) but he hasn’t made himself obvious to the rest of the team. Basically, Barry is alone in this and they haven’t made the same discoveries that would have been made had the rest of the team known that Barry’s mother was murdered by the man in yellow. That’s why the timing and events are off. 
> 
> Also, I know that I used a lot of lines from the show, but that’s mostly because I just wanted to get Len’s character introduced. The events of Rogue Time happen next chapter and that’s went things start to change a great deal from the original show.


	3. Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Understanding a question is half an answer.

“Why are you so obsessed with this guy, anyway,” Lisa pondered. “I mean you’re skilled enough to get away with things without detection. You’ve done it so many times before, but now you’re calling yourself by a stupid nickname, running around in a parka and making puns. Don’t you think this is a bit dramatic, Lenny?”

Len didn’t respond. He was looking at a blueprint of the cold gun. Len had made the blueprint himself entirely from memory and while he had a sense for how the gun was made, he still didn’t know exactly how to create it. He was trying to get a feel for how it functioned. Given more time, he’d likely be able to make it himself. Len may have never graduated from high school or college, but he’s learned a great deal about engineering through self-education. He was at a worktable, and Lisa was leaning over a couch he had set up in front, trying to get his attention.

Lisa continued on, “Though I guess you’ve always been dramatic.” She shrugged and stretched out over his couch like a house cat. “So, what’s the plan again?”

Len rolled his eyes, “The plan is that you get Francisco Ramon to go home with you, we get him to make us guns. And I confront him and ask for Flash’s identity. Ramon also has a brother; Mick will get the guy.”

“Don’t you think that kidnapping another one of the Flash’s teammates is a bit contrived at this point?” Lisa wondered.

“I think that I need a leg up. Cisco can make the guns. And we can find out the Flash’s identity. If that means kidnapping everybody associated with the Flash, I’ll do it.”

“And why not just do more research? This Flash guy clearly works out of STAR Labs, you’ve already figured that out. Just tail the place and see who comes in and out. The labs are practically defunct, there can’t be that many more people coming in and out of the place. And I know you’re smart, Lenny. Some would even call you a genius. You don’t think you can remake the cold gun?”

Len stopped staring at his blueprint, walked around his worktable and meandered to where his sister was sprawled out, “Are you saying that my own sister of all people, wants to take the boring route?”

Lisa frowned, “Of course not.”

“It’s more fun this way,” Len explained. “I figured you needed a little excitement in your life.”

“Oh, really?” Lisa lifted one delicately sculpted eyebrow. “And it’s not because you know that kidnapping the Flash’s friend will get his attention? And then you’ll get to see that tight ass in red leather again?”

“It means we get to learn more and more about the Flash, his habits, his identity. And more about how their tech functions. And if I have a leg up, then I can force his hand and get him to leave us be.”

“Sure, sure,” Lisa said and then inspected her nails. “Of course, of course. Also, can’t you just kill the guy?”

“Do you think killing the only superhero Central City has is really the best idea? Please, think before you speak.”

“I’m saying that you wouldn’t have hesitated to track down and kill the Flash the first time you heard about him, so it’s odd you’re not doing that now.”

It was true. Len was completely ready to kill the Flash, or the Streak as he was once called, the moment the Flash chose to ruin his heist for the Kahndaq dynasty diamond. Len had the gun and he had him cornered in that train, but the Flash was _different_ than he expected.

He looked incredibly young, somewhere in his early twenties at the latest. And yet the kid didn’t have the presence of a young person. Most young men were either uncomfortable in their bodies or exuded a false confidence. If not false, then they appeared arrogant. This was just a result of youth; youth gave people ideas of grandiosity. It was easy to look through it.

He even commented on it, and the Flash replied that his appearance was deceiving. And the man also had no fear, none at all – which Len, on the train at least, could attribute to that youth. Remember the grandiosity?

But Len had him down. He had the Flash on the ground, frozen, with a weapon that had hurt him before. A weapon that could very likely kill him – and yet the kid showed no fear. Right as Len was prepared to shoot and murder, the speedster looked at him and he smiled. The kid even chuckled. It was _vexing_.

It was possible that he knew his teammates were coming and that’s why he wasn’t afraid. But Len got the feeling that wasn’t true, and it kept him from wanting to kill the Flash. Instead, he wanted to know him. It almost sounded cheesy, but he wanted to chat with the man, have a conversation. It seemed like the scarlet speedster would be good at conversation.

Of course, the Flash was still a heroic pain in his side and wanting to have a leg up wasn’t exactly a lie either.

He glanced at his watch, “You better get going, sis. Ramon is known for going out on Friday nights and it’s already 8pm.”

“You’re just trying to get me off your case, Lenny,” Lisa said with a long sigh. But she got up and walked over to the door. She grasped a leather coat on a hook to the side of the door and shrugged it on before turning back to Len. “See you soon, jerk.”

She closed the door and Len was left alone with his own thoughts.

* * *

Cisco was stood up. By Barry Allen of all people.

“ _I’m sorry_ ,” Cisco told him over the phone as he sat at a bar. “ _I really wanted to come, but today was not the best for me. You know about the whole_ – ”

“About the whole time travel thing, yes I know,” Cisco sighed. “I finally wrangled you into agreeing to have a drink with me and you’re on babysitter duty making sure Mark Mardon doesn’t cause havoc and destruction.”

“ _He hasn’t been charged with a crime yet and we’ve just been chatting and –_ ”

“Oh?” Cisco said. “You’ve just been chatting? With a psychopath?”

“ _Cisco, he lost his brother. Losing someone that close can do immeasurable damage to a person_. _I’ve been talking with him; he needs to be punished for the murder of the coroner. I know that, but he’s misguided. I’m not saying he’s a good person, but I want him to understand the gravity of his actions._ ”

Cisco wanted to roll his eyes at Barry’s ever-present-frustratingly-deep understanding of the human psyche, but he did admit it had been one hell of day. Barry had busted into the lab and explained that he had relived the day before. Dr. Wells had tried to get him to stop talking, to not mess with the timeline but Barry was insistent that they needed to do something.

Cisco was amazed at the science of it and Barry had an actual conversation with them, a more sincere conversation they’ve had since the months of working with him.

Barry had been resolute in his words, “Dr. Wells I understand that there are problems with what I’m doing right now. But I have the opportunity to actually save people. And you may not want for me to share this with Caitlin and Cisco, but sharing this information is pivotal to this moment. Hidden secrets are always revealed and it’s best to step out in front of something then let it find its way out in the open without your consent. Especially for those I’m close to.”

It sounded like Barry had practiced that phrase before. There was something just a bit deeper than just the words, Cisco could tell. Barry looked guilty as he said it, like he was holding something else back. Cisco was looking forward to finally talking to Barry and getting to know him. But that wouldn’t be happening now.

“Ok Barry,” he said on the phone. “It’s fine. But can we please have a drink next week, at least? This better be a raincheck.”

“ _Yes. I promise._ ”

“Alright, bye,” Cisco hung up and looked at his lonely beer in front of him. Cisco liked Barry. He was always really nice, patient and understanding. The guy was a walking American history book, and he was an incredibly smart person. Barry even had a habit of quoting Socrates on the regular. But it was the kind of relationship you had with a really nice coworker, not a friend. You know those people that you only talk to at work? And sure, they’re nice. But you only really talk about work things and the weather? It was like that with Barry. Except instead of talking about the weather they would talk about science. Barry was less of a computer person, but he would have thorough conversations about physics and engineering with Cisco. Barry would also talk for hours on end about biology with Caitlin. So yeah, they had a good time chatting about _those_ sorts of things.

And of course, the team always had his back with the Flash business.

But it occurred to Cisco that he never really asked or knew about any personal things about Barry. He knew what he read in his file while Barry was in a coma for nine months, but that was it. Barry never spoke about what it was like growing up in foster care or what it was like in his home state of Virginia. Cisco knew that Barry like vanilla lattes, but he had no idea if Barry had any friends outside of Central City (except for Felicity, which was a little comforting. At least it seemed like Barry wasn’t a total hermit.) Cisco had never even been to Barry’s apartment or seen him outside of STAR Labs.

Cisco had the theory that Barry had suffered some sort of trauma in Virginia. The sort of trauma that makes someone afraid to get close to people. Cisco got a little curious one night and tried to see if Barry had any social media, or maybe if he could even read about the foster parents Barry had. Barry had a public Facebook page with no friends, he liked Lady Gaga and that was pretty much it. When it came to the foster homes, it seemed like whatever homes Barry was in were totally defunct. And Barry emancipated himself at 16, so it couldn’t have been the best living situation if he felt he needed to get out before even being a legal adult. So, Cisco didn’t pry, because he understood what it was like to have issues with family.

But it was getting a little ridiculous at this point.

Cisco was startled out of his reverie by the voice of a woman, “Hi. I don’t normally do this, but I was watching you, and… Can I buy you a drink?”

The woman was stunning.

“I – uh –” Cisco looked all around him but didn’t see anyone else around. “I’m sorry, are you talking to me?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I was with a few friends and I said you were cute so they dared me to come over here and talk to you. So, please talk to me.”

“Uh,” Cisco smiled. This had never happened to him before. “Yeah, yeah of course I suppose I can talk to you for a little bit,” he stood up. “Please, sit down.”

“I’m Lisa, by the way.”

“I’m Cisco."

* * *

“Have you spoken to Cisco, today?” Caitlin asked. “He had a rough day yesterday and I want to make sure he was alright.”

“No, I spoke to him last night. I was supposed to go out with him but,” Barry paused.

“Go out?”

“Yeah, I said we could go to the bar last night, but I ended up talking to Mardon. And by the way, he’s calmed down a lot,” Barry added. Mardon still hated West, but he broke down and admitted he didn’t mean to kill the coroner.

The conversation with Mardon almost acted as a distraction.

Barry was still wrestling with the reality that he could time travel. With the reality that if he could learn to control it, it was possible for him to go back and prevent his mother’s death. To possibly prevent whatever event had given him his immortality. But Barry knew it was unwise, going back 400 years meant there was no telling what differences he had made in his life. He had saved people, served, inspired few who went on to make huge differences – positive differences – in history. It would be selfish of him to go back. He’d suffered from a horrible nightmare last night about those possibilities. Nightmares were common for him, but they had gotten worse since he found out the man in yellow had returned.

It was then that a warning went off in the cortex. Dr. Wells was the one to speak up, “Snart has been sited at a well-known Santini crime family casino. Well, this day just keeps getting better, doesn’t it?” Wells said with a bite in his tone.

Barry felt a tightness in his chest at the mention of Cold. Wells was obviously still bitter that Barry had chosen to reveal the fact he time traveled to the team. The team learned a while ago that Wells was responsible for the particle accelerator explosion, and things have been more tense since then. Of course, Dr. Wells pulled the stunt of revealing the truth to the world through a press conference, but it was still – off. Nothing Dr. Wells did felt genuine. It was clear Caitlin and Cisco trusted him. Though Barry suspected that trust was wavering.

“I’ll go,” Barry looked at the address on the cortex screen and sped to get his suit on.

When Barry sped to the scene, a shoot-out was occurring. Captain Cold was wearing his parka and working with a woman who had some sort of… gold gun?

“How many times are we going to do this, Snart?”

“Until the best man wins!” Cold came around from his hiding spot and aimed the gun at him, the Gold woman was in his line of sight, so he grabbed her.

It was an amateur move, it wasn’t as if he was going to hurt the woman, and he put her in danger by putting her in the blast zone. But Barry had a feeling Snart wouldn’t shoot.

“Cold,” he announced. “I’ve already had a weird couple of days, so could you please settle down.”

“Settle down?” Cold was smiling. “We both know you’re not going to do anything to her. Oh, by the way, meet by baby sister. Lisa, Flash. Flash, Lisa. Cisco has been very busy. Unless you want me to mail small, frozen pieces of him back to his family, I’d take your hands off her.”

Barry frowned and gently let Lisa go, “You have, Cisco?” Barry asked.

Cold tilted his head, “I just heavily implied that, didn’t I?”

“And I heavily recommend you let him go,” Barry was nervous for Cisco. It was obvious that Snart was a dangerous man.

“I’ll think about it.”

Barry knew that Cold had lost his gun when he was arrested, it was very possible Cisco had made him this new one. Why else would Cold be keeping Cisco? Before Cold could walk away Flash spoke back.

“You seem to have what you want,” Barry gestured to the guns in Lisa and Snart’s hands. “Why not let him go now?”

“That’s for me to decide and you to find out,” Cold said. “Now, I’ve got to get going.”

* * *

Now all he needed was the Flash’s identity. Len stood outside the room where Cisco and his brother were being held captive.

He had Mick and Lisa at his attention.

“Alright, listen up,” Len said. “Neither of you can know it.”

“Know what?” Lisa asked.

“You know what,” Len replied. “I’m the one who gets to know the Flash’s identity. I’m the boss. I decide whether it’s appropriate to share the information. If too many people know, then I have no leverage.”

Mick just grunted. Len knew he likely didn’t care to find out the Flash’s identity.

“And you,” Len looked up at Mick. “I need you to create a scene. Understand? They’re alone in there right now, and I’m sure they’re getting antsy. You keep an eye on them but turn your back. I imagine they’ll try and escape – but if they don’t, find a way to beat them a little. Get aggressive. Got it? We need Cisco scared and pliable.”

“Got it,” Mick said and walked into the room. The man had more than brawn on his side. Despite Len being known as the brains of the operation, most of Mick’s antics were just acts. Sure, the man was always a little on the aggressive side and his penchant for fire wasn’t a lie. But the crazy persona he’d built up what just that – a persona.

“And what do I do, Lenny?” Lisa asked in a mock sweet tone.

“Well, I need you both out of the room when the kid talks, so just go for the calming routine. Take Mick out of the equation, and I’ll do the rest.”

It didn’t take long until Len heard shouting in the other room.

He turned to Lisa and held up his gun, “Showtime.”

Len ran down the stairs into the next room and shouted, “Mick! Mick calm down! Mick, we need them,” he revved up his gun for the extra touch of the dramatic and pointed it at Mick.

“Mick? Baby?” Lisa said. “It sounds like you’re hungry. How about you and I grab some dinner?”

Lisa walked away with Mick and Len was prepared to do his magic.

“I like you kid, you’re smart. You pulled yourself up from humble beginnings. You seem like a good brother,” Len said. Maybe if Cisco appreciated the savior routine, Len wouldn’t have to go any further than this. But Len was never that hopeful.

“You too,” Cisco said.

“Debatable,” Len replied. “You answer one question for me, and I’ll let you and your brother walk.

“What’s the question?”

“The Flash. Who is he?” Len asked. This was the risk he was taking. There was no telling whether Cisco truly knew Flash’s identity but given the bleeding-heart gang – Len had a hunch. He was fairly confident in his hunches.

“I swear,” Cisco tried to explain. “He always wears a mask.”

It was obvious the kid was lying. Alright, time to step it up a notch. Len shot at the brother’s hands. It was just for a moment, but enough to do damage. Len wasn’t prepared to kill the brother – but he needed to seem like he was.

“This is first degree frost bite,” he walked over to where Cisco was over his brother. “Your brother could recover with proper treatment, if not all his tendons, blood vessels and nerves will freeze. His fingers will need to be amputated. No more concertos for the Ramon family holidays. Now tell me, who is the Flash?”

Cisco looked up at him. It was a pathetically terrified look and if Len hadn’t been doing these things for years, he might’ve felt bad, but this was what he needed. Len _needed_ this information. Cisco was strong-willed, he’d give the kid that. Even with his brother in pain on the ground it took a good twenty seconds before he spoke up. Len was close to taking the damn brother to the hospital himself.

“Barry” Cisco said. “His name is Barry Allen.”

“Is that his full name?” Len asked.

Cisco closed his eyes to hold back tears, “It’s Bartholomew Henry Allen.”

Len stood up, “Now was that so hard?” Len then shouted loudly. “Lisa!”

Lisa walked back into the room.

“Could you please rush Mr. Ramon and his brother to the hospital.”

“Of course,” Lisa came and took Ramon and his brother away.

Now it was time for Len to do his work. While Mick and Lisa were planning for the heist of the Santini casino money tonight, one that would definitely get the Flash’s attention, Len needed to do a little research of his own.

It started with a simple google search.

Barry Allen had a profile on the CCPD website. Len was surprised for a moment; he hadn’t expected the Flash to be a cop. But then he realized he was a CSI. An unassuming one at that. The man had no social media save for a barren Facebook page with a few listed likes.

He was listed as a graduate of Star City College with a PhD in Forensics. So, he wasn’t as young as Len thought, but when he did a little digging it turned out that Barry completed the program in a short amount of time. When they first met Barry was twenty-five, and he just turned twenty-six two weeks ago. What a shame Len didn’t find out sooner, he would have sent a birthday card.

Len dug deeper and went to different sources to get his information. Classic background check revealed that Barry was born in some small town in Virginia and went through foster homes after his mother died in childbirth. Len tried to follow paths of the homes, trying to find any more names to connect to Allen but all of them led to dead-ends.

Len had seen jobs done like this. It looked like internet scrubbing. So, either Barry Allen was the most boring soul imaginable, or he had something to hide.

Len finally found a listed number associated with a foster home Barry had lived in. Len took a burner phone and called the number.

It rang for a few moments before a woman picked up, “ _Hello?_ ”

Len put on his best impression of a southern accent, “Hi, I’ve been tryin’ to get back in touch with an old friend o’ mine. I was wondering if you could help me?”

“ _I’m sorry, but who is this regarding?_ ” the women didn’t give any indication of this being a foster home yet.

“I’ve been told this is a foster home, yes?”

“ _Not anymore_ ,” the women continued. “ _I still have the number, but I no longer work in foster care._ ”

“And may I ask, what’s your name, dear?”

“ _I don’t need to share that with you, sir. Again, could I ask who this is regarding?_ ”

“I’m look for a – a Barry something. I’m sorry, we were so young when we last met. I think his last time started with an A. I have this number listed for him in an old notebook of mine and if I remember correctly it was one of his homes.”

“ _You must be talking about Barry Allen. He was a sweet boy. Lived with us for a while, I’m not sure where he is now. Goodby_ e _,_ ” then she hung up.

That conversation wasn’t exactly productive. Maybe Barry Allen really was boring. That would be disappointing.

Len decided he’d do more research later and started on his fail-safe plan. He set an uplink to reveal Allen’s identity by tomorrow morning if Len didn’t stop it. That should be enough to convince the Flash to not make any rash decisions.

It wasn’t as if Len really expected the good two-shoes to murder him, but Len was a wanted criminal. He wasn’t one to take any chances.

* * *

So, Leonard Snart knew his identity.

Barry should have been more nervous at that, maybe a little more panicked. If his identity were revealed it would put a lot more attention to him as a person, people would start digging. And while he trusted Felicity, given enough time _someone_ could figure something out. Not to mention there were still people alive in the United States today who had met him before. While Barry would go by a last name every so often, he never bothered to change his first name. All it would take are several insistent senior citizens to say he worked with them, or a photo showing his face from a hundred years ago, where people can start putting the pieces together. Barry typically led a low-profile life. His identity as the Flash? That was high profile.

Cisco was incredibly upset about Snart knowing his identity, as were Wells and Caitlin. But now Barry could have a real talk with the man.

The team knew that Cold would be trying to hit the Santini casino money on transit. Barry stopped what he could, then grabbed Snart and rushed him out to the woods.

Barry looked at Snart, who appeared to gain his bearings and then took his helmet off, “Good to see you, Barry.”

Barry took down his cowl, “We have to talk. I know Cisco told you who I am.”

“Can’t really blame the kid for giving you up,” Snart said. “You or his brother? Come on, I put him in a tight spot. Same kind I’ve got you in right now. Can’t really stop me now that I know who you are.”

“I could speed you to my own private prison where you’ll never see the light of day,” Barry answered. It wasn’t exactly the truth. Barry wasn’t as harsh as that, but as the Flash he needed to let Snart know he had options.

“You could,” Snart said. “But then I won’t be around to stop my own private uplink that’ll broadcast your identity to the world. So, the million-dollar question: What to do with me now, Barry Allen?"

Barry wasn’t exactly fond of negotiating. There was always someone with the upperhand, always someone who would screw the other over, “I won’t let you keep stealing whatever you want, whenever you feel like it. It needs to end.”

“Can’t do that. It’s what I do,” Snart said.

Barry expected that answer, “Then find a new line of work. There are so many more things to do in the world.”

Snart shrugged, “Don’t want to.”

“Why’s that?”

“The same reason you keep running after guys like me. The adrenaline. The thrill of the chase. I love this game. And I’m very good at it.”

Barry couldn’t help but smile again, he always did that when he was around Snart. The man was dramatic, but certainly alluring. He was also smart, “You think I do this for the adrenaline?”

“I know that has to be a part of it,” Snart pondered. “Why else would a man dress up in a leather suit and go off throwing people into prison without due process. That’s not justice.”

“I don’t like it when people die,” Barry explained. He walked close to Snart, he looked deep into his eyes. “I can stop you. You know I can, and if you want to keep pushing your luck. Go for it. But from here on out, no one else dies. If you’re as good as you say you are, you don’t have to kill anyone to get what you want.”

“That’s true,” Cold said.

“And if you, or anyone in your rogues’ gallery, goes near any of my teammates again,” Barry was very close to the man now. He needed him to know he was serious. “I don’t care who you tell my identity to. I’m putting you away.”

“I guess your secret’s safe, Flash,” Snart said. “For now.”

Barry smiled. It was odd, but Snart seemed somewhat of an honorable man. There was something inside of him that wanted to do good, Barry was sure of it. Barry almost wanted to be honest with the man, he was almost glad that Snart knew his identity because it left something of a clean slate between them. Leonard Snart would be someone… someone no one around him would expect him to confide in.

Huh.

“Oh, I don’t suppose you’d give me a ride back to town, would you?”

Barry didn’t respond but held up a finger in a motion that said: ‘ _Hold on a moment_.’ Barry pulled his cowl back up and turned his comms on, “I spoke with, Snart. We talked. In exchange for not revealing my identity, I won’t stop his heists. But he swore off any death.”

It was Caitlin who responded, “ _Do you really trust him to hold up his end of the deal, Barry?_ ”

“I can’t be sure of that, but he knows if he doesn’t, he’ll go away for life. I made that clear.”

“ _Okay, are you headed back?_ ” Cisco asked. Barry didn’t always go back to the labs after he stopped crime or went on patrol.

“Not tonight,” Barry said. “I’ll probably take a run to clear my head and then go home. Comms will be off.”

 _“See you tomorrow, Barry,”_ Wells said.

Then Barry turned off his comms.

“I can give you that ride, but only if you agree to a cup of coffee,” Barry said.

Snart looked at him like he had just grown two heads, “Are you asking me on a date, Barry?” He said in a cool tone.

“Ever watched the Godfather 2?” Barry asked. “There’s a line in there I liked, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. When I first saw that movie, I could have sworn the quote was a variation from the Gospel of Matthew. ‘You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!’ I don’t think that’s what that quote really meant in the Godfather, but the point still stands.”

Barry quickly sped away and sped back, he was wearing street clothes and had a leather jacket in his arms, “You might want to leave the parka, it will probably attract too much attention. You seem like a leather jacket kind of guy.”

Snart looked at the jacket in his hands and shrugged off the parka. He put the jacket on, “I didn’t take you for the religious type. But that would explain the savior complex.”

“I used to be religious,” Barry said. “Not anymore.”

Barry wasn’t certain what came over him in this moment. But he felt like he needed to speak with Snart. Snart was intelligent, he was crafty, and he was someone that no one around him would think he would talk to. A potential confidant. Why bolt to solve something until you have somewhere to look for an answer? Snart could help him find those answers, but only if he could get him to agree.

“Do you have a preferred coffee spot?” Barry asked.

“I used to go to the Motorcar diner, but something tells me being across from the precinct isn’t the best idea,” Snart said snidely. “You choose the place.”

Barry nodded and whisked Snart away. They ended up at a diner. Snart took a breath the moment they landed and looked around, “This doesn’t look like Central City.”

“It’s not,” Barry said. “I went to this diner before, I’ve visited Missouri in the past, but I’m new to Central City. I remember this diner having decent enough coffee,” Barry shrugged.

It was true. Barry lived in Missouri for a couple years in 1946, it wasn’t the most eventful time. World War II had just ended the year before and people were dealing with the aftermath. He went to see the world series that year in St. Louis. It was the first World Series to be played after wartime travel restrictions had been lifted. 

“Where are we?”

“Town Topic in Downtown Kansas City,” Barry answered. “I figured you wouldn’t want to leave the state, but you’re right. You probably shouldn’t be showing your face out in public in Central City right now.”

They walked up to the diner, it was already fairly late and there were only a few people inside. There was a sign up in front that said to take their own seats, so Barry walked in and sat in the booth he remembered sitting in almost 70 years ago. Snart took the seat across from him. 

An older waitress, who must have been at least 80 years old, walked up to them, “Now what can I get you sweethearts?” she asked.

“I’ll have a coffee and a single hamburger with fries, please,” Barry had eaten an hour before. But his metabolism always needed fuel.

“And you, young man?” she turned to ask Snart.

“Just a coffee, thanks,” Snart said.

“Coming right up.”

Snart took out a phone and started typing on it.

“Who are you messaging?” Barry asked.

“Well, you just kidnapped me, and I wasn’t lying about the uplink. I’m disabling it. I’m also letting my sister know not to wait up,” Snart explained.

“Now that I know you disabled the uplink, you don’t think I’ll put you away?” Barry wouldn’t. But he was surprised Snart would even mention it to him.

“You’re too much of the _honorable_ type. I can tell. You won’t do that.”

Barry nodded.

“Now Barry, while it’s nice to have this little date. I can’t imagine you’re simply doing this out of the goodness of your heart,” Snart drawled. He leaned back in the booth and craned his neck. Barry’s heartrate went up a few rates per minute when he saw the crook of Snart’s neck.

Barry licked his lips and leaned back, composing himself, “You’re right. I need your help.”

“And pray tell, why do you expect me to help my enemy?” Snart said with a crooked eyebrow.

“I can’t exactly force you to help with me with my problem, but you’re a smart guy and I’m sure you have your ways. You were just saying that you steal things because of adrenaline, the thrill of the chase. The challenge and game of it. I have a challenge, one that’s been vexing me for years.”

“What’s the challenge?” Snart asked. The waitress came back and set down the coffees in front of them. Snart grabbed a mug and Barry watched as he took a packet of sugar and mixed it in to his coffee.

Barry did the same, but only took a cream, “I can’t tell you unless you give me your word you’ll actually help me.”

“How can I give you my word to help if I don’t even know what I’m getting into?”

“I guess that’s part of the fun,” Barry said and smiled.

Snart paused. Barry could see the cogs working in his brain. He took a sip of his coffee and then looked back up at Barry, “Alright. I’m in.”


	4. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I have finals, so I didn't get the chance to post this chapter. As you may have noticed, the tags on this fic mention panic attacks and violence. There is a panic attack and violence toward the end of this chapter. A needle is mentioned this chapter, there is a flashback, there is also blood, war, gore, mentions of death and dead bodies. If any of this is a potential trigger for you, I recommend treading carefully.

Len wasn’t entirely sure why he agreed to it. True, he enjoyed the idea of a challenge, but he also wasn’t one to jump headfirst into something he knew nothing about. It’s also unclear what exactly he got out of this equation. It may have been the sincerity in Barry’s voice that did it. Or maybe he just knew that if Barry felt comfortable enough to share whatever his “problem” was, Barry would owe him. If this was big enough, Len could have Barry completely at his whim. Not to mention it gave him an advantage if Barry trusted him, because Len was anything but trustworthy.

When the words “I’m in” slipped out of his mouth, the brightness that lit up Barry’s face was almost worth the uncertainty.

“Ok,” Barry smiled and sighed. “I had a feeling you would refuse.”

“Really?” Len asked and leaned back into the old leather seats. “You seemed confident I wouldn’t.”

“Sometimes people are curious,” Barry admitted. He had that smile again, the one that seemed to hold a lot more meaning than Len could discern. “One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.”

“You have a habit of quoting people a lot, don’t you?” Len said. “I’m sure I’ve seen that phrase plastered on a poster before.”

“A friend lent me a book on Socrates a long time ago, I read it over and over again,” Barry said. “He was an attorney, really good man,” Barry’s eyes glazed over a moment. It seemed like he was remembering something before he snapped out of it and looked Len back in the eyes. “Ever heard of the Socratic method?”

Len nodded, surprised that Barry wasn’t getting to the point. He wondered if he was stalling and didn’t want to speak about his challenge – but keeping Barry talking was the best way to get information out of the man.

“Well, they use it in law school, I wouldn’t say it’s the best method of learning, but basically the idea is that in order to solve a problem you break it down into a series of questions. You probe and ask these questions in order to get people to learn and understand. It’s also a great way to get to the basis of a belief system and I use it to solve many of my problems,” Barry continued on. “I’ve broken down my problem into some questions and I need help breaking it down more, I need help finding those answers. The moment an answer leads to a contradiction you know to throw it out, you know that’s not the solution to your problem.”

“Okay,” Len was following. “I still need to know what your problem is in order to answer it.”

“Ask me,” Barry said resolutely. “I need you to ask me questions, I’ll answer them truthfully to the extent I can. But I need to know what this problem looks like from the outside perspective.”

Len had never met a person quite as odd as Barry Allen.

“Is your problem a person or a thing?” Len asked first.

“Very likely a person,” Barry answered.

“Who is this person? What have they done?”

Barry’s eyes glazed over again. This was perhaps the first time since meeting the hero that he’d ever seen him look so hopeless, “This person is like me. A speedster. They’re fast, they dress in yellow and they’ve dubbed themselves ‘the Reverse Flash.’ This man in yellow murdered someone very close to me when I was very young, and I haven’t seen them since. Until a couple months ago, they showed up and taunted me. They threatened me and I chased them, but I wasn’t fast enough to stop them.”

That made sense, Len thought. The man Barry was after was a speedster and Len had the cold gun. If he wanted to stop him, Len was probably one of his best bets. He also seemed to want to keep his STAR Labs buddies out of the equation, so it was possible Barry had nowhere else to turn.

“Who did they murder?” Len asked.

Barry seemed hesitant to answer, but nodded, “They murdered my mother.”

“I thought your mother died in childbirth.”

Barry laughed, and Len wasn’t sure why that was a laughing matter. Barry explained himself, “You’ve already done research on me? That explains it.”

“Explains what?”

“I have a friend who tells me whenever someone searches my name, apparently someone was looking me up and I bet that was you,” Barry explained. “No, my mother didn’t die in childbirth. She died when I was 11 years old, the man in yellow came and stabbed her.”

Len was surprised at how easily Barry explained it, “You don’t seem very upset about it.”

Barry furrowed his brow, and Len saw a flash of anger before his face smoothed over, “I’ll always be upset about it. But it was a very long time ago and I’ve moved on. Or I thought I moved on, until the man who killed her showed back up in my life.”

“Okay,” Len pondered. “So, you want to stop this man. That’s the goal.”

“Exactly,” Barry nodded.

“What’s the motive?” Len asked. “That seems like the key question here. You have no idea who this man really is, but what’s the motive? Why kill your mother, disappear for 15 years, and then show back up out of nowhere? And if he’s faster than you, why wouldn’t he have killed you?”

“15 years?” Barry asked, confused.

“You said you haven’t seen him since you were 11 years old, that’s 15 years ago.”

Barry nodded to himself then, “Yeah. That’s just it, I don’t know. He didn’t tell me what he wanted, it’s like he just wants to hurt me and make me suffer.”

“Why not make you suffer for the years in between then?” Len asked. “There’s a contradiction. It doesn’t seem like his primary motive is making you suffer, if it was, then he would’ve made you suffer your whole life. Not just now.”

“I have suffered for the years in between,” Barry said. Len heard truth in those words. Barry’s jaw was tight, and his eyes looked tired. Now that Len really inspected Barry pass the pretty face and ever-present glow (a glow Barry seemed to always have, an alluring light to him, almost like the glow they say pregnant women have just before giving birth) he looked fatigued. There were dark circles around his eyes and every muscle in Barry’s body looked tense, “But I could have suffered more. I could have suffered a _lot_ more and I grew up so lucky for who I am… So, I suppose you’re right.”

“Grew up lucky? I don’t think anybody would say they’re lucky for having a dead mother,” Len said coldly.

“I’m a white man in America, Snart,” Barry said. “If I was around for my life as any other race or gender then I would have suffered a great deal. I am lucky.”

Len could give him that. Len’s mother was half-black, so Len himself was a quarter black. But Len always acknowledged the privilege that came with being white-passing, “Okay, so his primary motive isn’t making Barry Allen suffer.” Then something clicked in Len’s brain.

“Hold on a damn second,” Len said.

“What?” Barry asked.

It was then that the waitress came back with a burger and fries, she smiled at both of them and set the plate down in front of Barry, “Here’s your food sweetie, can I get you anything else?”

“No thank you, ma’am,” Barry answered politely.

The old women paused in front of both of them and Len was about to tell her to bug off, he had a revelation that had just been interrupted before she turned to Barry and asked a question, “I’m sorry to bother you, son. But I have to ask, did anyone related to you come to this establishment sometime around the late 40s? I’ve worked here since I was thirteen years old, but I never forget a face and you’re the spitting image of one of my regulars. Or, well, he used to be a regular. He was older than me at the time, so he’s likely passed away. Bless his soul.”

Barry’s face softened into sweet smile, and something about it made Len’s stomach flip. Which was odd, Len wouldn’t say his ‘type’ was ever the sweet kind and Len wasn’t used to having butterflies. And yet that endearing look? It made Len feel like something of a sweet tooth.

“You’re probably thinking of my grandfather ma’am,” Barry answered. “It’s sweet of you to remember him, and you’re right, he passed away a few years ago.”

“Oh, well I’m sorry,” the waitress said sincerely. “You have my respects. Also, your food is on the house.”

“Oh you don’t have to do that – ”

Barry protested but the waitress held up a hand, “He was a kind man, and he has a kind grandson. I’m happy to give you free food. Enjoy your meal and let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thank you,” Barry said as she walked away. He turned his green eyes to Len, “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

Len was almost tongue tied for a moment; goddammit he hadn’t been tongue tied since he was a fucking grade-schooler. He took a sip of his coffee and then finally composed himself, hoping it wasn’t too obvious.

“Metas have only been around since the particle accelerator explosion,” Len said. “So how to hell did a speedster kill your mother years before that happened?”

Barry’s face suddenly came into a moment of revelation and he grinned, “This is why I need you! That’s so obvious, but I missed it. Oh sure, I know a lot, but so much crazy shit has happened over my life I completely forgot about that,” Barry said. “He’s a time traveler. He has to be.”

Len nearly choked on his coffee, “A _time_ traveler?” How the hell did Barry come to that conclusion so quickly, “How the hell did you come to that conclusion so quickly?”

“Speedsters can time travel,” Barry said it like he was mentioning the sky was blue.

“That’s,” that’s terrifying. Len was about to say. That’s an amount of power that no person should have, much less a man who apparently murdered mothers. So, speedsters can time travel. Barry was a speedster. Holy shit. “ _You_ can time travel?” Len fought to keep his cool tone but given the circumstances. Given the information he was learning, it made sense why he couldn’t.

“Yes,” Barry took a bite of his burger. “I only just found out about it about 48 hours ago, but I time traveled to save the city without realizing it. My time travel likely led to _you_ figuring out my identity.” Barry held out a finger and pointed at him as he said it.

“How?” Len almost felt affronted at the idea that Barry was responsible for his own genius. Len would have figured out Barry’s identity without some weird time travel thing. He was just that good.

“I don’t know,” Barry said casually.

Len was almost getting pissed at how casual Barry seemed about the most incredible things. Len wondered if Barry was always like this, after all, this was their first real conversation and they’d already breached the topics of murder, evil speedsters and fucking time travel. It was _maddening_.

“Alright, so let’s break this down. We know that this man in yellow likely wants something from you, probably something that has to do with your speed – because he only appeared after you got it. If he’s a time traveler like you say, it explains how he showed up when you were younger. Also, speedsters are still men. They’re still human beings. That means this is a real person, with a real identity just like you. If we figure out his motive, we might figure out his identity and if we do that, we can draw him out – or target him.”

“And kill him.”

Len was startled by Barry, “Now we just agreed I wouldn’t kill anybody, and you want me to murder? I have no idea where I stand with you, Scarlet.” Maybe this was another reason why Barry came to him specifically. The Flash team was a group of do-gooders who saw the world through rose-colored glasses. Len imagined that they wouldn’t be happy with Barry floating the prospect of murder around so casually.

“We agreed you wouldn’t kill innocents.”

“Fairly sure that wasn’t what you said.”

Barry shrugged, “People die every day, if a dangerous evil man is killed, I couldn’t care less, and I’ll sleep perfectly fine at night.”

“I’m a dangerous evil man,” Len said.

“No, you’re not,” Barry took another a couple bites of his burger and shoved a few fries in his mouth. He chewed and spoke again, “I’ve met evil people and you’re definitely not one of them.”

“I’m a murderer,” Len insisted. He needed to get it through this man’s thick skull that he wasn’t his friend. He wasn’t doing this purely out of the good of his heart, but to get an in – to be owed. “I’m not a good person. And I’m definitely not a hero.”

“I’m a murderer,” Barry said. “I’ve probably killed more people than you have and there’s nobody calling me evil.”

“The Flash hasn’t killed anyone,” Or at least Len thought that the Flash didn’t kill anyone. Sure, the metas he fought had disappeared… but Len thought they were in that “private prison” Flash had mentioned. He would have never thought Flash would murder them. Or had he? The idea of the Flash silently murdering people and getting away with it while the city called him a hero made a chill go down Len’s spine.

“The _Flash_ hasn’t killed anyone,” Barry answered cryptically.

Len needed to do deeper research on this man, because he certainly wasn’t boring. If anything, given the way Barry spoke and acted, given Barry’s power and given the words that Barry had just said – Barry was terrifying. Maybe Barry was just a psychopath and Len had put himself into danger by ever interacting with him. Len didn’t think that was true, but people always did say that the devil wore an innocent face. Len wanted to press, he wanted to push and shove and insist that Barry spill his guts to him. But now wasn’t the time.

Len stood up just as Barry finished his food, “Now, while I’d love to chat all night, I’d like to get home and catch an episode of shark week, maybe rob an ATM, do some light reading.”

Barry nodded and stood up, “Alright, anywhere in particular you want me to speed you over to?” he said as they walked out of the diner. Barry offered a smile and wave to the old waitress as he walked out, and Len started questioning himself on the whole ‘psychopath’ thing. Barry really seemed like a good person, but there was cognitive dissonance between this Barry and the Flash, or the Barry Allen who apparently killed more people than Len had.

“Leave me on the corner of Johnson and Levering, I’ll walk the way back to where I want to go.”

Barry didn’t hesitate to woosh Len away, and Len’s breath was struck out of him as they sped. It couldn’t have been more than 30 seconds, but the speed at which Barry traveled was remarkable. But Len remained safe, he had to ask about that some time. How the hell did Barry run at the speeds he does, and cart people around at the speeds he does, without have their skin ripped from their bodies?

Barry stopped and Len gathered himself.

“I took the liberty of getting your phone number while we were at the diner,” Barry said.

“How did – ”

“I’m fast, remember? I also put my phone number in your phone under Scarlet.”

“Why Scarlet?” Len asked.

“You called me that back in the diner, I thought it was cute and I didn’t exactly want my real name in your phone… So, it’s Scarlet,” Barry said. “I’ll call you when I need you, we should start setting up a plan.”

And then Barry sped away. And Len was left feeling like this whole shebang was _way_ above his pay grade.

* * *

Barry thought the conversation with Snart went well. Sure, Barry could tell he freaked the guy out a little – which was probably a feat considering how cool and collected Snart usually was. Nevertheless, Snart seemed on board with helping Barry, he had already helped him by bringing up the obvious. The man in yellow was a time traveler, he had to be. Speedsters were created by the particular accelerator explosion, so he must have become a meta after that. So, the question was did he time travel back from the 1600s to this time frame? Or did he remain in Barry’s life? Barry initially believed this man was an immortal, but it was possible he wasn’t.

But something the Reverse Flash did the night Barry’s mother was killed changed him. Something that made him the way he was, but it only presented itself when Barry was 25 years old. Back on that day so long ago when he looked at the mirror to see his skin was golden and glowing a bright yellow.

It was curious, and Barry was curious as to why the Reverse Flash waited so long. It must have been something to do with his powers, since he appeared only after Barry got his speed. It had been a few days since his conversation with Snart and he hadn’t contacted him yet, he was biding his time, so far, the man in yellow hadn’t appeared anywhere but his dreams.

“You seem a distracted today, Barry,” Caitlin said to him.

“I’ll admit, I kind of am,” Barry explained. He had gotten a little closer to the team, which he _was_ happy about. The words Shawna said to him before he time traveled and undid the whole conversation, the idea that he was selfish by keeping away, those words struck him. Barry realized that staying away only protected him, it didn’t protect those he cared about. But if he got close enough then it would come time to admit who he was, _what_ he was. And Barry wasn’t sure if he was prepared for that.

“I was wondering if we could do another check-up?” Caitlin asked. “I noticed you seem fatigued. Paired with the distraction and your general mood change I want to make sure you’re okay.”

Right now, it was just Caitlin and him alone in the cortex. Cisco and Wells were off working on something and Barry had been sitting around aimlessly. It was another one of his days off and it was a slow day for crime. Barry was debating whether or not it was time to call Snart and get the ball rolling on their plan. A few days in his lifetime was like nothing to him, Barry could even wait years to properly confront the man in yellow – but he had the feeling that the Reverse Flash was planning something big. Something soon. And most people didn’t work on the same plane as Barry when it came to time. That’s one reason why he was always late to everything. Sure, he was always productive, but productivity didn’t mean he needed to be doing something every hour of the day – and thinking in and of itself _was_ doing something productive. So, he’d been starting at the wall for a good twenty minutes and Caitlin was probably concerned for his mental health.

“Mood change?” Barry asked.

“You’ve always been withdrawn, but the past few days you’ve been clocking out more,” Caitlin brought a hand-out to Barry, and Barry grasped it and stood up from where he was sitting. “By clocking out I mean you look as if you’re in another world, just staring off into space.”

Barry shrugged. He didn’t know how to respond other than, “I’m just thinking.”

“What about?”

Barry shrugged again, opting to avoid the question. “I’m ready for my check-up, Dr. Snow.”

Caitlin sighed when he avoided the question but didn’t ask again and they both walked into the medical room. She patted the gurney, “You know the drill, I’ll do a blood draw and full body scan. And I’ll probably ask a few questions time time around, okay?”

“Okay,” Barry sat in silence as Caitlin did her work. She drew his blood and when she took the needle out, Barry watched as the tiny hole in his arm closed up. He took his blood pressure, temperature, heart rate and then got started on the scan.

“Things look the same,” Caitlin said. “No indication of anything… different.”

Barry heard something in her voice, like she wanted to ask a question, “Is there something wrong, Caitlin?”

“Barry, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” she pulled up a stool and sat down in front of him. “I didn’t want to ask because I thought I was prying, but now that you’ve opened up to us a little. I consider each other friends.”

“I consider you a friend too, Cait,” Barry said. He wasn’t sure where she was going with this.

“Well, I noticed something when you first got here,” she said. She almost looked guilty. “And it seemed intimate and I didn’t ask about it.”

“Caitlin, it’s okay, what is it?”

“Well,” Caitlin brought up her hands and they started to move as she spoke. “Your healing factor is remarkable; we both know that. Every wound you have can be healed in a matter of minutes and at most an hour. But the thing about that healing factor is that there are still microtears in the skin and muscles and bone wherever a wound is made,” she explained. “Now these microtears aren’t visible with normal scans, but with the ones we have at STAR Labs I can see every single one of them. And Barry, you have a lot, enough to last a lifetime. This was before you were the Flash.”

Barry was silent as she turned her stool to pull up an image on the screen in the medbay. It was a scan of a body, “This is you,” she said as she gestured to the scan. “And all these little white specks, they look kind of like clouds, these are the microtears. Everyone has them, you have more than the normal person. You see this long gash, here?” Caitlin gestured to his leg on the scan and Barry nodded. “This is from your fight two weeks ago. A lot of these wounds are new.”

Caitlin took a tablet and clicked on it, she zoomed in with her fingers and Barry looked as his chest on the screen got larger, she gestured toward his heart, “This wound, however. This wound is older, you had it before you were ever the Flash. This wound is right over your heart.”

Caitlin zoomed in further and Barry found himself feeling very tight in the chest, his heart was beating quick and he ground his teeth. He remembered that wound.

“You see the round white glow, here?” she circled it with her finger. “It looks like a bullet wound. A little different than a normal one, quite large, around a .69 caliber bullet. Almost the size of a musket ball. Now I thought – it’s very odd that a man who apparently doesn’t have _any_ hospital records other than a birth certificate had a bullet wound.”

She ran a hand through her hair, “But what made it more worrying,” she flipped the image. “Is that there’s an exit wound. Right through your heart. _No_ _one_ can survive that… I couldn’t treat that wound. At that caliber? About 17 millimeters? Right through the heart?” she held up her fingers and made a space between them, showing the size. It was about the size of a medium ring. Then she brought it up to her chest. “That’s deadly. That should have killed you.”

“And while I’d say this is your worst,” she said. “There are wounds similar to it in other places. It looks like you were grazed by a bullet in the leg. You were apparently stabbed in abdomen. You’ve also suffered several broken bones, including a cracked skull,” she clicked through each scan like a slideshow when she described them. “And Barry all of this means that not only have you been severely hurt, several times, but you survived it. And you survived a shot in the heart. Which means that you had to have had your healing factor before all this, before the Flash, before the particle accelerator explosion.”

She turned back to him and Barry could feel the blood rushing out of his face. He felt unprepared and uneasy, he didn’t like the way Caitlin looked at him – like he was a stranger. Which he supposed he was really, in her eyes.

“Barry,” she said slowly. She could probably see the terror written on his face and her expression softened in response. “I know you’re a good person. But you’re not who you say you are, you’re not some Virginian small-town boy. Who are you?”

It was then that Barry was thrown back into the past.

He could feel the cold rain beating down on his brow, his breath was quick, and he looked over to his friend Franklin. Franklin was only 16 years old and he grinned up at him, “You ready, Allen?” Franklin’s look was frantic but determined. “You ready to kill those rebel bastards?”

Allen nodded. He felt freezing and his hands were tight around his musket, and they were white and numb. Allen looked out into the foray of soldiers on the other side, the Gray far outnumbered them. They had already lost plenty of Union soldiers, so advancing in tight ranks on the other side made it difficult.

He could hear his commander shout and suddenly everyone around him started running. Allen felt glued to the ground, but Franklin gripped his arm and thrust him up. Allen ran, his feet pounded against the mud and Allen saw as the Confederate soldiers did the same. They were gaining on each other and he heard shots ring out.

Then they were thrust into each other, he managed to stab a man with his musket in the neck. He looked as the sharp bayonet went through the man’s throat and blood splattered on Allen’s face. He gasped and could taste the metal in the blood. It took about eight seconds to load a musket, which was forever in war time. They couldn’t afford to shoot and reload unless they really needed to.

Allen looked over and saw Franklin doing the same, and then Allen saw a man fixing to shoot Franklin. Allen brought up his gun and tried to aim, but his fingers, his damned frost-bitten fingers couldn’t shoot. And the man brought up his gun and Allen was too slow. Too slow.

It was almost in slow motion then, the moment the bullet hit Franklin’s skull and Allen saw as his friend’s face became unrecognizable. In one second, the boy he called a friend was dead, on the ground and Allen cried out in pain, an emotional pain so wretched and deep that he could feel it rise up in his throat. He threw up and then finally the heat rose up in his fingers and he took aim at the man who shot Franklin – Allen felt gratified when he hit the man right through the eyes. He felt happy when he saw the man’s face turn into that same unrecognizable bloody red mess that had just been done to Franklin.

But he was distracted, because when he looked back up an enemy soldier’s musket was right up against his heart and Allen couldn’t act before the man shot.

The bullet was hot, and it tore through his chest. Allen fell back and gasped for breath, but he was being trampled by all the men above him. All the soldiers’ boots digging into his wound, stomping on him. One man’s boot hit hard on his head and then his vision went to black.

And in that black, he felt a warmth and he heard shouting,

“Barry!” the shouting came closer. “Barry! Barry! Take deep breaths, Barry.”

And Barry was back. He was gasping for breath; he could see the medbay around him and he could see Caitlin. He was on the ground. But he could still feel those soldiers’ boots, he could still see his young friend’s wrecked face that looked like ground meat. He could still taste the blood and hear the shots. He couldn’t breathe.

“I can’t,” he said. “I can’t breathe, Caitlin. I’m dying, Caitlin,” he said. He could feel hot tears running down his cheeks, in contrast to his cold fingers. Those damn frost-bitten fingers. “I’m finally dying, Caitlin. It’s what I’ve always wanted, but I’m scared. I didn’t think I was scared to die, but I _am_.”

He gasped and sobbed, and Caitlin grabbed him in her arms, “You’re not dying, Barry. You’re having a panic attack. Try and breathe, please. For me, Barry? Take a deep, breathe.”

Barry did as she asked. He sat as he took his breaths. His chest slowly started to untighten, and he could feel his throat open back up, his fingers were warm. He could still taste blood in his mouth, but it was only because he had bitten his tongue.

It took several minutes until he could finally speak again, “I’m sorry.”

“You had a panic attack, Barry there’s nothing to be sorry about,” she said. “You don’t have to answer my question now, it’s okay.”

Barry could barely remember what she had asked. His mind was still foggy, but then it hit him that she _knew_. She knew about his healing factor, but she didn’t know the whole story.

“I –” he frowned. “I’ll tell you. But please, don’t tell anyone else. Not yet. I’m not ready.”

“Barry,” she said softly. “I trust you. You’ve saved my life before, you saved Ronnie’s life. You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

It suddenly occurred to Barry that he saved her life before, from Captain Cold. He felt guilty, then. He was working with a man that nearly killed his friend, but Barry didn’t believe that Cold would have really hurt her. He couldn’t.

“Actually,” he said. “I want to tell Cisco, too.” He was just as close with Cisco as he was with Caitlin. If Caitlin knew, then Cisco deserved to know too.

“What about Dr. Wells?” Caitlin probed, but Barry could tell she immediately regretted those words.

“Not him,” Barry said resolutely. “I don’t want to tell him.”

Caitlin nodded and didn’t protest.

Hidden secrets were always revealed. It was best to step out in front of something then let it find its way out in the open without your consent. That was one of his lessons, a lesson he bypassed when it came to his friends.

“You want to talk in the kitchen?” Barry stood up and shook himself, he tried to get back his calm and happy demeanor. “I’ll make coffee, can you bring Cisco? Make sure Dr. Wells doesn’t come.”

“Of course, Barry,” Caitlin said. “Is it okay if I leave you alone?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Get Cisco, meet me in the kitchen and we’ll talk, okay?”

“Okay,” Caitlin said hesitantly as she walked out of the room.

Barry had to start making that coffee then. He walked to the kitchen and he didn’t think. Barry didn’t want to think, because if he thought too hard about admitting who he was to Caitlin and Cisco he might back out of it. And they didn’t deserve that.

Barry took solace in doing a simple routine, he took the ground of coffee and put them in the filter. He poured the water in the coffee maker and pressed the button. He watched as the coffee dripped into the carafe and he took a deep breath.

He could do this. He was old. He was wise. He was over 400 years old for crying out loud, he’s done this before. But it was different this time around, it felt different.

Just as the carafe was full Caitlin and Cisco walked into the room, “Could you both make sure the doors are locked behind you? I don’t want Wells coming in unannounced.”

“Wells is home right now, Barry,” Caitlin said. “I don’t think he’ll be coming in today.”

Barry nodded.

“What is this about, guys?” Cisco asked.

“I’ll explain,” Barry said. “Just wait.” Barry took out three mugs and poured coffee into every one of them. He made each coffee the way he knew they liked it. He handed Cisco the coffee and then he handed Caitlin coffee. Barry took a breath before taking his own and then he took a sip.

Caitlin and Cisco were both sitting across the counter from him. They sat in the tall chairs and Barry looked at them and smiled, “I like both of you, a lot. You’re both kind, smart, and you both have taken care of me when I was hurt and I trust both of you.”

“But I’ve been hiding something from both of you,” Barry said. “And Caitlin found out tonight, one piece of it, but only a part.”

Caitlin and Cisco didn’t interrupt. They both just listened, and Barry was glad because of it. He wasn’t sure how he could keep talking if they interrupted him.

“I’ve had my healing factor before I was the Flash,” Barry said. Cisco’s eyes widened, but he didn’t speak. “I’ve had it for most of my life. When I was 11 years old a man in yellow lightning, a speedster like me, came into my home and murdered my mother. My father was executed for her murder and I lived on. I couldn’t talk much about it, you see, in my village speaking about that kind of stuff could get you killed.”

He could see the confusion painted on both his friend’s faces, but Barry powered on through his speech, “Now I grew up. I turned 25 years old and I looked in the mirror one day and I was glowing. My face was lit up in gold and I was scared, but I ignored it.”

It was then that Cisco interrupted, “But Barry you turned 25 while you were in the coma.”

“I didn’t turn 25, then,” Barry said. “Just wait, Cisco. I’m explaining.”

Barry took another breath, “I turned 25, I glowed and then the glow went away the next day. I lived on, I did my work, but then 20 years passed, and I looked in the mirror again and I looked exactly the same. Now, I was a farmer. So, you’d think I would be aged a lot, but I wasn’t.”

Barry laughed, “I was still young. And years passed and I was still young. And I fought in a war, but I wasn’t hurt the first time very much,” Barry said. He knew he was being vague; he knew he wasn’t giving them all the details, but he couldn’t help it. “And I realized that scrapes wouldn’t hurt me, and stab wounds wouldn’t hurt me. And I got shot in the heart in a war, but I didn’t die. I only blacked out and I woke up with dead bodies piled on top of me.”

Barry closed his eyes and scrunched his nose as he remembered, “They were burying the dead and it stunk. Have you ever smelt a dead body?” Barry asked. Caitlin and Cisco didn’t react. “It’s like rotting meat, like meat that’s been left out for days. And they were burying us in mass graves, but the dirt hit my face and I woke up. Sometimes I still think what would have happened if they buried me that day, if I woke up and I was stuck in the ground. But that didn’t happen.”

“I was alive. And of course, I left the moment I got out of the hole because I couldn’t show my face after that. I lived the rest of my years running, changing lives, changing careers, learning new things. But I never aged in that whole time.”

“And so many people died around me that soon I didn’t want to make any more friends, I really didn’t,” Barry felt tears breach the edges of his eyes. “I didn’t like seeing people I care about die around me, while I didn’t get the gift of death. I just kept on living, and perhaps my greatest sin was moving on and forgetting what it felt like to love.”

“Then I was struck by lightning and I met you two, and I learned about my speed and I thought I could finally make a difference. But I still didn’t want to love, I still didn’t want to get too close. Because, Cisco and Caitlin,” he said softly. “I’m going to outlive both of you. I’m never going to die and you’re going to become bitter because of it. You’ll beg me to help you while you’re on your deathbed, while your back is hurting, and your bones are aching – but my body is still in its prime. You’ll be angry at me. It’s happened before, and they always say it won’t happen, but it does. You’ll cry and ask why I get the gift and you don’t. And I don’t want that to happen. Do you understand why I didn’t tell you?”

It was silent for moments, Cisco stared up at him and Caitlin was looking at her coffee.

“Barry, you’re… you’re immortal?” Cisco said.

“Yes,” Barry answered.

“How old are you?” Caitlin asked.

“I’m 401 years old,” Barry answered.

Cisco sucked in a breath, “Holy shit, that’s a long time. Those wars you were talking about, those are the Revolutionary and Civil wars?”

“Yes,” Barry answered.

“I understand, Barry,” Caitlin said. “I understand why you didn’t tell us. That sounds,” she frowned. “That sounds horrific, Barry. Living forever? I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

“It’s not so bad,” Barry said. “I got to learn a lot.”

“That’s why you’re a walking American history book!” Cisco said like it was the greatest revelation he’d ever had. “Have you ever met anyone famous? Have you ever left the United States, or did you only stay here for those 400 years?”

Barry smiled, and his shoulders began to untense, “I only stayed here. America is my home, all of it, and despite its many flaws I love it here. And yes, I’ve met many famous people, but I’ve met many better, average people. People that are much more worth talking about than any historical figure.”

Cisco continued to ask questions and Caitlin popped in with the occasional question, as well. They continued to speak for hours. And Barry wondered why he ever worried.

* * *

Eobard ground his teeth as he saw Barry Allen spill his guts to Dr. Snow and Ramon. He had set up cameras all around STAR Labs for this very sort of occasion.

Eobard watched and scoffed as the Flash gave a great speech about death, about war. Oh, boo-hoo, poor baby Allen had to live a few hundred years. Woe is me, I have the greatest gift of all time, one that men have spent years trying to find and I somehow turn it into a bad thing.

This wouldn’t stop Eobard’s plans. While Barry had told Cisco and Caitlin about him, Barry was still curiously tight-lipped about his recent appearances.

Caitlin and Cisco were intelligent people. Cisco especially, if Barry were to share the reappearance of the man in yellow with both scientists – with all their heads put together it wouldn’t take long for them to find out his true identity.

But Barry didn’t share it with them just yet. Which meant he could stay back, he could watch. He could bide his time and wait until the time was right.


	5. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When desire, having rejected reason and overpowered judgment which leads to right, is set in the direction of the pleasure which beauty can inspire, and when again under the influence of its kindred desires it is moved with violent motion towards the beauty of corporeal forms, it acquires a surname from this very violent motion, and is called love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. While this fic is completed, I like to re-read chapters before I post and did not have the time to do so. I was preoccupied with finals, but I am happy to announce finals season is over, but ColdFlash is in full swing.

Barry woke up determined. He dialed the number he had on his phone, it didn’t even ring once before he heard the smooth voice on the other end. Barry was sitting at CC Jitters; Iris didn’t work there anymore, and he almost yearned for her company. Barry decided he couldn’t talk to Snart in his apartment, he didn’t know if the man in yellow had been ever-present in his life – and it was possible he was being watched. He had just stopped the Tricksters and there was a moment of quiet, a moment of peace that he should take advantage of.

“ _Scarlet_ ,” Snart answered. His voice ever smooth, ever calm.

“Snart,” Barry said.

“ _I’ve been waiting on your call, having second thoughts?_ ”

“Not at all,” Barry answered easily. Given the fact he had just revealed his secret to Caitlin and Cisco, it was about time get the ball rolling on his next plan. As of now, the man in yellow was targeting him, he was a potential threat, and he would only let both scientists in on the plan when they actually had some answers.

“ _I’ve been doing some research on your little problem, I’ve gone to a few sources and I think I might have a lead,_ ” Snart said. “ _Meet me at the warehouse district, across from the 20th street sawmill._ ”

Barry didn’t hesitate to walk out of Jitters and then run to the location. There, Snart was standing outside of a warehouse in a leather jacket (the leather jacket Barry had lent him), a navy turtleneck sweater and dark wash jeans. He looked handsome and Barry could feel his own heartbeat uptick a few notches.

“I’m curious,” Snart said when he arrived. Snart began to walk toward the warehouse and Barry followed. “You gave me a rule on no killing, you said you don’t like death, but you also say you’ve killed before and you want to kill the man in yellow – isn’t that hypocritical?”

Barry wasn’t expecting that question, but he took it in stride, “I don’t like death. But I was also a soldier and sometimes that means killing, it’s not good. I didn’t enjoy it,” Barry explained “I also believe in defending myself – though now as the Flash, I take pride in avoiding death to the extent I can with my powers. And when it comes to people that kill, people that keep killing, powerful people… I don’t think I draw the hard line anywhere.” Barry said.

“It might be hypocritical,” Barry thought, he was never immune to changing his mind. Maybe it was, maybe he should draw the hard line. “And I think I spoke out of passion that night, if this man shows signs of change – of real change, and if he’s not as dangerous as I think he is I might reconsider. But I have a feeling he’s not. I think that stopping him now, permanently, is the right answer...” Barry tilted his head. “Though I’m not locked-in to that answer.”

“Are you always this indecisive?” Snart probed as they approached a hard metal door. Len pushed it open and they walked into an empty warehouse. It was destitute save for a single couch and a large worktable.

“I might be, I don’t know, let me think about that,” Barry said.

Snart actually laughed then and Barry’s chest felt warm to be the cause of it.

“You mentioned a lead, what do you have Snart?”

Snart walked up to the table and opened a laptop, “Call me Len.”

“Len,” Barry tested the name on his tongue. He was surprised by how casual it sounded. Barry would assume that Captain Cold would opt for the longer, more refined, ‘Leonard.’ But Barry himself had chosen his shortened name centuries ago, so he understood the urge for simplicity. “I’m on first-name territory with you now, huh?” Barry teased.

“Only for this,” Snart – no, Len held up a finger. “Don’t start calling me that when I’m out as Captain Cold and you’re the Flash.”

Barry couldn’t help but push, “Would you say we’re still enemies now?” Barry pondered. “I mean, sure, we’ll probably run into each other as Flash and Cold. But this is Barry… and Len. Are we acquaintances? Partners in crime? Or what’s the term nowadays,” Barry reached for the word in his mind. “Frenemies.”

Len’s expression was stone and Barry continued on.

“The term frenemy means a person with whom one is friendly, despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry,” Barry said. “I wouldn’t say I dislike you. Though we are incredibly different people. And Cold and Flash are definitely rivals. If we’re working together on this, then I suppose we’re friendly,” Barry laughed. “Yes, frenemies. We’re frenemies.” He always got a kick out of every generation’s new terms.

“If you keep talking, I will shoot you with my cold gun here and now, damn the consequences,” Len’s tone was icy.

Barry shrugged, “Alright, you show me your lead and I’ll tell show you mine.”

Len didn’t even blink at the innuendo and Barry was a just a little disappointed.

“Have you ever heard of tachyon particles?” Len asked.

Barry hopped up on the table and leaned close to Len, “I have.”

Len didn’t lean back, and Barry took that as a good sign. Len turned his laptop to Barry and on the screen was a photo of some sort of technology, “This is a tachyon prototype developed by Mercury Labs. Apparently, a meta, described as somewhat demonic looking and dressed in yellow – tried to hire a few men to steal the device.”

Len turned to the laptop back to himself, “It didn’t work. It was a robbery gone wrong; Mercury Labs has a tight security system. Oddly enough nobody reported the robbery, so I imagine this device is something of a secret. But sources provided me with the photo… Now I thought this might serve as an effective lure, if we get the device, we can lure your villain out from hiding because it seemed like he wanted it,” Len paused. “Unfortunately, I’ve been told that the prototype _was_ stolen from the labs. So, your man in yellow probably got what he wanted, and he did it himself.”

Barry absorbed this information and nodded, “There was a murder scene at Mercury Labs, just before the man in yellow appeared to me again. Several guards were killed, and it looked like something had gone straight through their chest or abdomen – but the surviving scientists were tight-lipped about motive or the person who did it. I think they were threatened. It’s very possible that was the Reverse Flash.”

“Why would he want the tachyon prototype,” Len asked. “That’s a potential motive.”

“Well tachyon particles can theoretically make a speedster faster,” Barry hadn’t thought of this exact scenario before, but he had done research on it. Ever since learning about his speed Barry had made it his mission to learn about his powers. He would create theories, read about it, talk to Cisco and even Dr. Wells on occasion about the science of the Flash. “It’s possible the man in yellow wanted to be faster, but it’s odd because the Speed Force should theoretically provide enough energy on its own.”

“The Speed Force?” Len questioned. Tilting his head in a way that made Barry smile.

“It’s what connects speedsters to their power, it’s also what protects speedsters from harm as they travel,” Barry explained. “It wouldn’t make sense for the Reverse Flash to want these tachyon particles unless his connection to the Speed Force was already limited. He wants to be fast, that makes sense. His attack on Mercury Labs make sense but…”

“Do you mind lending me your laptop?” Barry asked.

Len shook his head and pushed the laptop over to Barry, who was still sitting on the table. Barry leaned over and began to type, “I have notes from my cases uploaded on a cloud site,” Barry said. “Don’t worry, I’ve been told on good authority that it can’t lead back to an IP address.” Felicity had helped him set this up, it was easy for Barry to navigate and he pulled up the cases he wanted. Barry had started to warm up to computers, phones were still much of a mystery, but Felicity had been giving him lessons.

“If the Mercury Labs murders are connected to the man in yellow, then this murder,” Barry pulled up the case he wanted and turned it around. “Is definitely connected, as well. The modus operandi is the same – a gaping wound straight through the torso.”

Len looked at the case, “Mason Bridge. This man is a journalist.”

“Exactly,” Barry said. “He’s not a scientist, but he was still targeted.”

“So, it’s possible that this journalist was getting close to a story that the man in yellow didn’t want exposed.”

“If we find the story, we’d probably be a step closer to the man in yellow,” Barry frowned. “But I doubt that if it was important enough to kill Bridge over a story, that the Reverse Flash wouldn’t have deleted any evidence of the story.”

“You said you had a friend who gets a notification any time your name is searched,” Len pondered. “I’d imagine they’d be good at something like this, if there were any remnants of the story on Bridge’s computer – then we could access it.”

“That’s possible,” Barry thought about whether it was worth it to get Felicity involved – when suddenly he remembered. Barry snapped his fingers, “I actually know someone who works at the same newspaper Bridge worked at. I know it’s a longshot that an apparent Pulitzer-prize winning journalist like Mason Bridge would give up his stories, but it’s still possible there’s something there. She’s incredibly smart.”

“Your friend is a journalist at Central City Picture News?” Len asked.

“She is,” Barry smiled, but then frowned. “Do you think it’s immoral to get someone involved in this who is unaware of the situation… Do you think I’d put her in danger by asking these questions?” Barry was asking the question to himself, but Len answered.

“I’m not exactly the poster-boy for moral virtue, but I imagine if she has a story on her hands so dangerous that someone might kill her for it, it would be immoral to _not_ let her know about it,” Len said. “There’s no telling whether your friend actually does know, but if she does, and it’s as juicy as Mason Bridge thought it was – then she would put herself in danger by pursuing it.”

Barry nodded. It was true, despite being an immortal Barry still felt like he had so much to learn.

“Alright, let’s call Iris West,” Barry said as he pulled up his phone.

* * *

Iris was not having the best day of her life. In fact, she was just a bit terrified. She was close to calling her dad, close to having him get involved and help her – but every time she picked up the phone, she set it back down. Mason died for this story. She wouldn’t have anyone else die because of it.

Harrison Wells was a dangerous man and she needed to prove it.

Dr. Wells was a mysterious man, enigmatic and incredibly secretive. Any good reporter should have noticed that people who challenge Wells seem to drop off the map. But Wells was also incredibly generous – he made technology that saved lives and despite the particle accelerator explosion he was still respected in the scientific community. He was also disabled, crippled by the explosion that he created, and no sane person would question what he has lost as a result of his mistakes. 

Iris ran a hand through her hair and groaned. Something was missing. She had a piece of the puzzle missing. Iris was about to call Eddie, to tell him everything, but even then, she _also_ didn’t want to endanger him.

This was maddening.

It was then that her phone rang, she looked at the caller ID. It was Barry. Huh. She hadn’t spoken to Barry in a while and had long since given up on trying to get any leads out of the forensic analyst. They weren’t the best of friends but for the time she worked at CC Jitters it was always a treat to speak with him on her breaks whenever he came in for a vanilla latte. He had even offered her relationship advice and convinced her to tell her father about Eddie. Ultimately, it worked out in her favor and she was grateful for the advice.

She picked up and tried to make her voice sound casual, “Hello?”

“ _Iris,_ ” Barry said. “ _You work at Picture News, right?_ ”

“Yeah, I do,” Iris was distracted by the paper’s in front of her. She was reading an article about Harrison Wells industrial work. “What about it?”

“ _Did you know Mason Bridge?_ ”

Iris was suddenly at attention. She pushed aside the paper in front of her and focused on Barry, “Why do you ask?”

“ _Well, I’m sure you know that he was murdered. The investigation was is still pending, and I’m sure the cops have been interviewing his coworkers_ ,” Barry said. They had. But Iris kept her mouth zipped – she couldn’t voice her suspicions about STAR Labs or Wells until she had hard evidence. People who challenged Wells always died and she wasn’t about to become one of them, or let her boyfriend or father become one of them. “ _But I wanted to ask you personally, was there anything Bridge was working on that may have made someone angry? Or did you know of any big projects he was working on before he died?_ ”

“You’re not a detective, Barry,” Iris said. “Why are you asking me this?”

“ _I just need to know, Iris,_ ” Barry sounded somewhat desperate. This was perhaps the most emotional she’d ever heard him sound. She heard someone talk in the background, it sounded like a man. “ _If you don’t know it’s alright, I can look elsewhere._ ”

Iris was a reporter. Barry was a source. It was clear Barry knew something he wasn’t telling her.

“I’ll let you know what Mason was working on, but only if you’re honest with me about what _you’re_ working on,” she said. “I want the story. The whole story.”

“ _The whole story is probably dangerous, Iris,_ ” Barry said. Iris smiled. This confirmed the fact that Barry knew something.

“Then I guess you’re not getting a word out of me,” Iris was about to hang up before she heard Barry shout on the other end.

“ _Okay_ ,” Barry said. “ _Alright, just meet us, then. At the 20th street sawmill. But only if you promise not to freak out._ ”

“Us?”

“ _Iris, you’re about to get the best story of your life._ ”

* * *

“Why did you tell her that? Why did you give away our location?” Len asked Barry. He brought his hand up to his temple and rubbed. He had been nursing a headache for the last hour and Barry Allen only made it worse. “And why do I have to be there?”

“Any chance you’re interested in having a story written about you working with the Flash?” Barry asked hopefully.

“Absolutely not,” Len said.

“Any chance you’d be willing to become a source for Iris?”

“That’s even worse. I’m not a fucking snitch,” Len let the venom drip into his voice. Barry was becoming too comfortable with him; the man was flirting – and while Len would usually have done the same back, he was not in the mood for this to become a regular occurrence. Despite his best efforts, Len found himself _caring_ about Barry and _caring_ about his problems and _caring_ about Barry’s potential future. And if Len has learned anything it’s that caring meant he had a potential weakness.

“Alright, alright,” Barry said and put out both hands in a placating manner. “If you really don’t want to be here when she arrives you don’t have to, but I would value your input in the conversation. It’s also just more fun that way.”

“More fun?” Barry’s attitude was simultaneously interesting and infuriating. “We’re talking about taking down a man who murdered your mother and at least five other people. We’re following up on a lead that got a man killed. I’m risking my own hide for this, and for what? Your amusement?” Len was also getting a wealth of information on the Flash, knew a lot more about Barry Allen and was potentially on the precipice of discovering that the man was operating under a false identity. But Len wasn’t about to admit all that.

“Len, please let me have my coping mechanisms,” Barry said demurely.

Len couldn’t help but feel something in his chest whenever Barry said ‘Len.’ That was dangerous.

“Do you trust Ms. West?” Len asked. He needed to know.

Barry nodded, “Of course, I do. I wouldn’t have contacted her otherwise.” Barry seemed affronted that Len would even feel the need to ask that question. But then again, Barry apparently trusted Len and that was lapse in judgment – so how was he supposed to rely on Barry’s trust with Ms. West? Len didn’t bother to get into the semantics of the matter, but his gut told him it was okay.

“Alright, I’ll be here,” Len said. “But if she steps out of line, I’m not immune to threatening your girlfriend.”

Barry tilted his head and a strange, confused but thoughtful look appeared on his face, “You know a lot of people have been implying that me and Iris should be in a relationship. But Iris is already in a happy relationship and I have no interest.”

Len would probably regret the question he was about to ask but, “So who _does_ pique the great Barry Allen’s interest?”

“You do,” Barry answered.

Len was startled, but he schooled his expression. He assumed that Barry was flirting with him to get a rile out of him, or as some form of weird bonding before they both go on Barry’s vendetta. Not actual interest.

“Don’t lie to me,” Len said seriously. He wasn’t to be trifled with.

Barry shrugged and then said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Why else would I have come to you if you didn’t pique my interest?”

“Because I have the cold gun and you’re after a speedster.”

“I could probably make the cold gun myself with schematics from Cisco’s lab,” Barry said. “I may not be good with computers, but I’ve grown quite skillful in engineering.”

“Then it’s because you don’t want your friends to know that you’re planning on killing the speedster.”

“No,” Barry said. “If that were true, I could go to literally everyone else but you. There are plenty of people on the street willing to kill, and I have money stashed away in a stock account – so it’s not as if I couldn’t afford it. That’s not it.”

“Then I’m disposable,” Len finally said. “Don’t act like I’m not, you don’t want your friends in STAR Labs involved because you care for their safety.”

“I don’t imagine you’d like it if I treated you like glass,” Barry said with a furrowed brow. He leaned even closer to Len than he already was. “No, I came to you because you were smart, interesting, and I had the strangest feeling there was good inside of you. I thought you could help me, and I’d get to know you along the way.”

“I’m not turning hero.”

“I don’t expect you to,” Barry said and then looked at Len in the eyes. Barry’s hand went over to Len’s and Len surprised himself by not pulling away. “We’re frenemies, after all.”

It was then that Len pulled his hand away and groaned at the awful joke. And they both heard a knock on the large metal warehouse door. The sound reverberated all through the warehouse and Len instinctively put his hand on his cold gun.

Barry leapt off the table he was leaning over with the grace of a dancer.

“That must be Iris,” Barry said. “I’ll walk over to her first, you try and – ” Barry waved his hand around. “And hide in the shadows or something, I just want her to see me first.”

“Understood,” Len said and took a step back

* * *

Barry wasn’t sure what came over him. Well, he knew exactly what came over him – his emotions and his infatuation with Leonard Snart. It was unmistakable now. Barry really did enjoy the man’s company and he found Len attractive. But maybe he took it a step too far, but he needed to step back and realize that he swore off relationships for a reason. Then again, what about a fling? The attraction Len felt was obvious, Barry could tell. And Len didn’t seem like the relationship type, so a fling, something to burn off steam, he could do that. Barry could do that.

Though now it was time to focus.

Barry slowly opened to the door to make sure Iris was the one behind it, when he opened it and saw her serious face, he opened and smiled – trying to diffuse any sort of stress or tension between them. Barry was immortal, but that didn’t mean he was immune to awkward moments.

“Hi Iris,” Barry said. “Welcome to this humble warehouse,” Barry spread his arm out wide.

“You made me come to one of the most unsafe areas in Central, so you better have something good,” Iris said as she walked in.

Honestly, Barry hadn’t even noticed that was true. After he realized he could survive a gunshot wound to the heart, the idea of being mugged wasn’t as scary. He’d never really thought of areas as unsafe, but that was just his privilege talking.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“If you tell me what’s going on first, you’re forgiven,” Iris said.

It was then that Barry walked over to the lone worktable in the middle of the warehouse, where Len was silently standing.

“Alright,” Barry said. “I want to introduce you to a new frenemy of mine.”

“Frenemy of yours?” Iris didn’t notice Len immediately, but her eyes widened the moment she saw him. Recognition was evident in her face, “You’re Captain Cold.”

“Always pleased to meet a fan,” Len said slyly and emerged under the limited warehouse lighting.

Barry saw Iris’s hand reach toward her purse, and Iris pulled out what was evidently a gun – but before she could fully reach up with it, Barry sped to take it from her and took it away to a hiding place. He would give it back to her later.

Iris was surprised when her hands came up empty and then her eyes widened even further as she saw lightning on Barry’s heels.

“And you’re the _Flash_?”

Len turned to Barry with a raised eyebrow, “You know I doubt she would have shot me. You didn’t need to reveal your identity.”

Barry shrugged, “I’m not willing to take that chance, and I was going to tell her anyway. Also,” Barry turned his attention to Iris. “Where the hell did you get a gun?”

It was Iris’s turn to shrug, “I’m investigating a potentially dangerous story, which means that I needed protection. I have a lot of sources”

“Would you have shot me?” Len asked, a curious smirk played on his lips and Barry couldn’t help but stare at them.

“No,” Iris admitted. “I would have threatened you, though. I didn’t expect a person like Barry to be involved with a person like you. Speaking of, how did this happen?” she said and gestured between the two of them.

“Barry here thought that the notorious Captain Cold would be just the right person to ask for help with a personal problem,” Len said sarcastically.

“And I was right,” Barry said with a broad smile.

“Is there,” Iris furrowed her brow. “Are you two?”

“Yes?” Barry asked.

“Together?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Barry said.

“Unfortunately?” Len asked and spun to face Barry.

“Anyways,” Barry would let Len linger with the thought for a moment. If Barry was committed to the flirtation, he needed to be frustratingly obvious, yet casual. “Iris, I’ve been dealing with a very dangerous speedster. I’m the Flash, I work out of STAR Labs, but I’d rather not bring the problem to the people I work with. I think the speedster was responsible for your co-worker Mason Bridge’s death. And I’d like to know what story Bridge was working on so that I can track down the man’s real identity and take him down.”

Halfway through Barry’s sentence Iris had taken out a notebook and pen, “STAR Labs?” Iris asked.

“Yes,” Barry answered

“Okay,” Iris shook her head and jotted something down in her notebook. “Alright, Mason was working on an exposé about STAR Labs, and in particular, Harrison Wells.”

Barry let her pause he wouldn’t interrupt until Iris had said exactly what she needed to.

“I couldn’t access any of Mason’s research from his computer, it had all been deleted – but I’ve been doing research of my own. And people who challenge Wells have a habit of disappearing. Wells has an immense amount of power…” Iris wandered around as she spoke. Her hands gestured emphatically.

“Of course, he makes a lot of money from his patents, but he also has his hands on dozens of stocks that did incredibly well. He knows how to buy and sell like the best of them, and that makes him a billionaire. He admitted that he was responsible for the particle accelerator explosion, but Mason suspected there was something more – like maybe Wells did it on purpose. Considering the fact, he’s a billionaire, it’s incredibly suspicious that he hasn’t begun refinancing STAR Labs. Why insist on having a building with millions of dollars-worth in assets closed? I hadn’t gotten much further than that, because other than that Wells has a squeaky-clean record.”

Iris snapped her fingers and continued to stare at her notebook, “But if you’re saying that STAR Labs is functioning as… what? A base for the Flash?” Iris said and looked up at Barry questioningly.

“It does,” Barry said.

“Then that might be why,” Iris furrowed her brow in thought, her voice was smaller now, like she was talking to herself. “So, Wells caused the accelerator explosion. I can feel that in my gut, and as a result the Flash was created. Wells kept STAR Labs defunct because he wanted to keep the Flash secret. But… you said a speedster was responsible for Mason’s death so,”

Len interrupted, “Either this Wells character is the speedster we’re looking for, or he works with him.”

It made some sense. Dr. Wells had been nothing but good to Barry Allen, he had fostered his skills had a speedster and he kept trying to be something of a mentor to Barry. Which was awkward, given the fact that Wells made Barry uncomfortable. He didn’t like the man, he always felt like he was hiding something. Wells knew quite a lot about being a speedster, he taught Barry how to vibrate through walls, he understood time travel – maybe he knew this much because he _was_ a speedster. The wheelchair acted as a disguise, and a good one at that.

But why would Wells want him to be better? If Wells hated him enough to murder his mother, to threaten him and chase him in some ill-willed cat and mouse game… Why would he make Barry a speedster in the first place?

Barry expressed his thoughts, “But the speedster who I’m after hates me. Why would Wells help me and mentor me, only to chase me and express his distaste as a speedster?”

“That’s the motive,” Len said. “He wants you faster. Anger is a strong motivator, it’s possible he’s trying to make you faster as a result. Chasing you, mentoring you, he’s playing all the angles. But the key factor here is your speed.”

“I still don’t understand,” Barry ran a hand through his hair.

Iris was silent now, writing down information quickly and glancing between Len and Barry.

Len walked up to her and snatched the notebook out of her hand, at Iris’s sound of protest he shook his head, “I don’t want you writing about me. If you agree to not put a word in about Captain Cold working with the Flash, then I’ll agree to give you your notebook back.”

“I can write an article with or without the notebook,” Iris said. Barry could see a look in her eyes that told him she wasn’t lying.

“Maybe,” Len said and turned through the notebook. “Though there’s a lot of direct quotes in here, do you have a good enough memory to remember them all? How on earth will your editor approve?”

“Give it back, Cold,” Iris demanded.

“No words on me, no words on my work, got it?”

Barry could see the cogs working in her brain before she nodded. Len gestured with her notebook and Iris snatched it out of his hand, “The article won’t even go out until Wells is arrested.”

Barry didn’t bother to correct her, “Let me read it before you send it out, and please, nothing about my identity.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you, Barry,” Iris seemed offended at the idea. “Now how are we taking Wells down?”

“We?” Len laughed. “What gave you the impression we would be working together?”

“You’re the one who called me here,” Iris said walking up to get into Len’s face.

“Actually, sweetheart,” Len jabbed a thumb toward Barry. “He’s the one who called you, I never agreed to working with you.”

“And why work with the Flash?” Iris said. “I’m not your enemy, _he_ is.”

“I trust Scarlet, I don’t know you,” Len said. “As much as I hate the kid, he hasn’t let me down yet.”

Barry felt a warmth at Len’s words, not about the hatred part, but Len _trusted_ him.

“Iris,” Barry said softly. She turned to look at him and something in her deflated when she saw his look. “I know you want to be a part of this and thank you for the information. But I’m not willing to put you in more danger than necessary. I have my speed; Len has the cold gun. You don’t have anything to defend yourself against a dangerous speedster.”

“Len?” Iris asked. “You two are on a first name basis? I swear to God, both of you are giving me mixed signals here. Do you get along or don’t you get along?”

“Frenemies,” Barry said in way of an explanation. “It doesn’t matter. Iris, I agree to keep you appraised of what’s going on, but I don’t agree with you coming into firing range, okay?”

Iris paused, but Barry could see her decision was made, it hid behind her brown eyes, “Okay. But you’re giving me my gun back.”

“I was planning on it.”

* * *

The next weeks consisted of Barry meeting Len in secret while he came in the labs and tried to act like he didn’t know that Wells wasn’t dangerous. Barry was gathering information and him and Len would meet and debrief. Barry wondered if it was time to include Cisco and Caitlin into their meetings, but something was holding Barry off – he didn’t quite know the exact nature of Wells motivations and as much as Barry trusted Cisco and Caitlin, if he told them what he thought of Wells… then he doubted they would be able to keep a poker face around the man.

Each time Barry met with Len they became just a bit more comfortable, and today, Barry thought it was time. Len had a lot more information on Wells, Barry had discovered a hidden room in STAR Labs and learned that Wells was from the future. Barry met Gideon and was thoroughly confused to find out that _he_ was the one who built her.

It didn’t make logical sense, Barry could barely function with a smartphone how the hell could he have built Gideon. Len was helpful, he was working on the assumption that Wells was from the future and had brought the technology back – but he was also working with a false narrative. He didn’t know about who Barry was and while he didn’t _need_ to know Barry felt wrong keeping the information from him.

They weren’t just frenemies, they were _friends_. Possibly the closest that Barry has been to a person since the 1930s.

Barry and Len would often meet at warehouses, but occasionally they’d go back to the diner where they had their first real conversation.

Len had driven out to the diner, he insisted that Barry didn’t need to speed him over all the time – he was capable of driving. Barry suspected that being carted around by a speedster wasn’t the most comfortable experience, so he understood why.

When Barry arrived that late night, he saw Len laying on the hood of his car. It was a muscle car and apparently Len had spent time repairing it himself. 

Barry sped over and joined him, he laid beside Len and stretched out. Len didn’t seem startled by his sudden appearance, which was an indication that they had gotten comfortable. Barry wasn’t sure if this was right, his heart was beating out of his chest.

“We need to draw him out soon,” Len said. “He’s from the future and he needs your speed. It’s possible he has a plan, and we can’t let him get started on it. The last time his plan worked out hundreds of people died.”

“And I became the Flash,” Barry said. He saw the stars above them, the moon was hidden tonight, and Barry looked up at them. There used to be so many more, but then light pollution came along, and Barry never quite saw the sky the same way again.

“And you became the Flash,” Len said lightly. “That’s a lot to handle for a young guy like you.”

Barry chuckled; Len had been doing that lately. It was the one mystery that Len had yet to solve, his “appearances are deceiving” comment still bugged Len, Barry could tell.

“What if I told you I was much older than I am?” Barry told him silently. He wanted his voice to come out stronger, but it sounded so soft.

“I already thought you were much younger,” Len said. “When I first saw your face clearly, on the train that day, I thought you were twenty.”

“I’m twenty…” Barry did the math in his head. “I’m twenty-six.” Barry turned to face Len and saw his profile shadowed in the darkness.

“So you’ve told me,” Len said. He didn’t turn to face Barry.

“I’m not,” Barry admitted.

“You’re younger?” Barry could tell that Len wanted to turn to face him. He suspected that Len was trying to keep cool, as he always did. The comment was bait.

“No,” Barry took the bait. “I’m older.”

“How much older?”

“Much older,” Barry frowned.

“You can’t be older than me, unless you’re just an amazingly well-aged forty-three-year-old,” Len smiled now.

“I am older than you.”

Len paused, “You can’t be.”

“I turned 401-years-old this year,” Barry turned away now. He felt red hot shame coat his cheeks and it felt embarrassing. “I’m too old.”

“You’re not telling me the truth,” Len turned to look at him, Barry could hear the shuffle of his jacket as he turned to his side.

Barry didn’t bother to face him, and he stared up at the skies for comfort. He imagined what they looked like the day his mother died – the universe was so much brighter, but his world had become so much darker.

“But I am, I can tell you what it was like during the revolutionary war, the civil war, the beginning of our nation. I can tell you about the civil rights movement.”

“Huh,” Len said, and Barry finally turned to face him. He went on his side, as well. Len’s blue eyes were surprisingly bright in the darkness.

“Just huh?” Barry asked.

“You’re an immortal,” Len said simply. “That must be why you’re so odd.”

Barry laughed now, genuinely, “I’m odd?”

“The strangest man I’ve ever met,” Len admitted. “And that’s really saying something considering the kind of people I’ve met.”

“You don’t have any questions for me?” Barry asked. Most people do, in fact, every person he has admitted his immortality to have grilled him with questions.

“Not right now,” Len admitted.

Barry supposed that Len wasn’t most people. Barry felt a warmth in his chest again, the kind he always felt around Len and he wanted to close the distance between them. He was staring at Len’s lips in the darkness and he wanted to get closer – he wanted to kiss him.

But he couldn’t. Barry turned back to look up at the sky. He couldn’t do that to Len now that Len knew.

To Barry’s surprise Len didn’t back down, he heard Len shift and saw Len sit up out of the corner of his eye. Barry gasped when Len straddled him.

“What are you doing?” his voice was surprisingly high.

“Now I can do this,” Len said and closed the gap between them. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Barry’s. Barry reciprocated and they kissed long and hard. Len’s tongue explored Barry’s mouth and Barry could feel himself harden in his pants. Len did too. Then Len stopped and Barry gasped at the loss of contact, “Did I ever tell you I have a thing for older men?”

Barry let out a small, startled laugh, “I don’t think we’ve ever had a conversation like that.”

“I like experienced men,” Len explained and rocked on Barry. Barry groaned in response and could feel a slight wetness breach his pants.

“Why,” Barry took a breath to steady himself. “Why haven’t you done this before?”

“It’s simple really,” Len said it in his Cold voice and Barry tensed. Len must have noticed because his voice went back to normal in the next sentence. “I couldn’t let myself get involved with Barry Allen until I really knew who you were.”

Then Len got off Barry. Barry wanted to pull him back, but he didn’t do it.

“I don’t want you to stop,” Barry said.

“I know, but I’m not sure that the hood of my car is the best place to have sex, Barry,” Len said. “We can get to that later.”

Barry was always a fan of his candor, “What are we doing now?”

Len chuckled, “Your sense of what’s important in the moment has always frustrated me. I’m not quite sure when it became endearing.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Barry, we both know Wells is planning something. I don’t think he knows I’m working with you and I doubt he’d expect it. But if we keep meeting like this, and if he’s monitoring you like I suspect then he’ll know soon. We have to strike tomorrow.”

“That’s so soon,” Barry said.

“Not really,” Len said. “To someone as old as you, maybe. But we need to ambush him. We’ve already discussed this; you tell Wells you know and run to the warehouse. I’ll be there with my gun and incapacitate him while he’s distracted with you. Then we finish the job.”

It sounded so simple when Len said it like that.

“But we still don’t know what he’s planning.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Len said harshly. “It doesn’t matter what he’s planning. I don’t give a damn what his master plan is, we need to take him down. You’re stalling and I’ve had enough of it.”

Barry paused and didn’t say anything for a moment.

“But…” Barry said. “Can we have sex before then?”

Len laughed in response and Barry laughed too. They both laughed for what felt like forever before Len finally composed himself.

“Since you asked so nicely… Yes, we can have sex before we kill your nemesis.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might think it seems like things are moving fast, and honestly, rereading this I thought the same. I could have written a lot more, gone a lot slower with the development of something deeper - but sometimes the urge to get the ball rolling just slaps you in the face, and I think that happened when I was writing this fic.


	6. Wise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise, without being wise: for it is to think that we know what we do not know. For anything that men can tell, death may be the greatest good that can happen to them: but they fear it as if they knew quite well that it was the greatest of evils. And what is this but that shameful ignorance of thinking that we know what we do not know?

Len wasn’t sure when his attraction to Barry Allen morphed into something like affection. Len turned to stare at Barry, who was sleeping in his bed. The Flash was sleeping in Captain Cold’s bed. Len nearly chuckled at the thought, but he remained silent and decided to simply smile. He was a smiling a lot more recently. And yet he had a strong feeling that the moment wouldn’t last.

Barry was immortal. Len didn’t plan on being in a relationship with him, but he also hadn’t planned on having sex with him. He had thought about it several times, every moment Barry would lean close or say something flirtatious – both of them just gave in to their mutual arousal.

But Len wasn’t naive, he knew it was more than that. He didn’t bother to wake Barry and looked as his chest rose and fell. Barry didn’t have any scars, but Len imagined he would be riddled with them – probably more than Len, if it weren’t for his healing factor. They were playing a dangerous game now. Len wondered if it was possible that Barry could really die, and if a speedster could kill him. How immortal was Barry? If somewhere were to say, cut off his head, would he die. Or would one piece just regenerate. It was a fairly terrifying thought.

Barry groaned and turned over, Len watched as Barry’s green eyes batted open, “Good morning,” Len greeted softly.

“What time is it?” Barry said and stretched, his muscles rippling across his chest as he did so.

“It’s early, only seven in the morning.”

“Today’s the day, huh,” Barry said and rested his head on Len’s chest. He sounded sad.

“It is,” Len said. He put his hand on Barry’s head and carted a hand through his hair. Len had so many questions, he wondered what it was like for Barry – living all those years. Len couldn’t quite imagine it. “We’re ready.”

Len didn’t think that someone quite as old as Barry would be so accepting of a man like Len. In fact, Len couldn’t help but wonder if Barry was once homophobic, racist, sexist … Most everyone in the past, much less 400 years ago, were incredibly bigoted. He might get to asking Barry those questions, but he didn’t know when it was appropriate. Usually, Len wasn't one to worry about what was "appropriate," but with Barry he had the urge to be _soft_. The idea of that should have upset him more than it did. 

“Do you have any questions yet?” Barry asked like he had read Len’s mind.

“I do,” Len said honestly. “But I doubt you’d like to answer any of them right now.”

“I don’t mind,” Barry said.

Len didn’t believe him. But he’d throw Barry a softball, “Where were you really born?”

“England,” Barry said. “But I don’t remember it.”

“Do you miss the past?” Len asked.

Barry didn’t answer at first, he played with the sheets in his hands and then took a breath, “Sometimes,” Barry said. “The past wasn’t better, it never has been, and there’s a little bit of progress every year. But I do wish I could have grown old with the people I’ve loved.”

 _Do you love me?_ Len thought. But didn’t ask. If he did, Len might be forced to answer the same question.

Len hummed and continued to card his hand through Barry’s hair before he heard Barry’s growling stomach. He sat up and got out of the bed, Len picked up his discarded underwear on the ground and put them on.=

“Might as well have a hearty breakfast before going off to war,” Len said.

“It’s not a war,” Barry laid in the bed, the sheets draped over his bare hips and Len was tempted to say hell to the plan – and jump back in bed. “It’s more like a battle.”

“Semantics,” Len said and walked out of the room. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“What do you have?” Barry said a bit louder as Len walked further away.

“Waffles, pancakes, bacon, eggs,” Len listed off. “I keep my apartment well-stocked.”

“You’re telling me this isn’t another one of your safehouses?” Barry had sped close to him and grinned at Len. He was fully clothed, Len imagined he got dressed at super speed. Barry's eyes were so bright, and Len was amazed that Barry could maintain such a brightness inside of him. It was obvious Barry had been through a lot, certainly worse than Len, but his brightness hadn’t dimmed. Not in the way Len’s had. That brightness was gone in Len.

“Of course not,” Len scoffed. “My safehouses consist of warehouses and drab apartments.”

Barry smiled, “I’ll help with breakfast. You get to cooking the eggs and bacon, I’ll make the waffles and pancakes.”

Barry had told Len about his metabolism before, so Len didn’t question it. He just nodded and continued his journey toward his kitchen.

He got to work cooking, then Barry joined him. Barry sped around the kitchen and began preparing the food.

Barry paused to whisk a batter slowly, “You don’t have to join me.” Barry said suddenly.

Len frowned, “What do you mean?”

“You don’t have to join me in taking down Wells, I can do it myself. Just give me your gun and I can take him down. Wells shouldn't know I have the cold gun.”

“That’s a stupid idea, Scarlet,” Len didn’t bother to hide the anger in his tone. Barry wasn’t getting rid of him that quickly. Len had already gone in too deep, it's not as if he was ready to bail now. “He’s faster than you. All we have is the element of surprise and if he sees your arm go up with a cold gun, he’ll notice. And where would you hide it anyway? That suit of yours is skin-tight.”

Len flipped the bacon in front of him and turned down the heat. He looked at Barry as he poured the batter into a waffle maker.

“This is really dangerous, Len,” Barry said.

“I know,” Len wasn’t under the delusion this was a good plan. It was a dumb plan, but they didn’t have any better options at the moment.

“You could get hurt, or die,” Barry said again, but with an imploring look. “I won’t. But you will.”

“I’m not afraid to die,” Len said honestly and then turned his attention to the eggs. “I’ve been faced with the possibility of dying all my life, ever since my father first raised his gun at me. I’ve seen death, I’m not afraid of it.”

Barry had a look in his eyes like he wanted to say more but didn’t go on. Len was grateful for that.

They continued to cook in the tense silence, when the food was ready Barry sped around and cleaned up. He made the table in the dining room and Len smirked. Being a speedster had its perks he supposed.

Then they ate, it was still silent, but it morphed into a comfortable silence.

* * *

Later, Barry stood in the cortex. Wells was alone in STAR Labs, Caitlin and Cisco were working on something together.

It was time, Barry knew. He knew it was time, but he wasn’t ready. He didn’t feel ready as much as Len had said they were. Barry was starting to regret not telling Caitlin and Cisco about what was going on.

They would have been so much more prepared. Both the scientists were so smart, they could have figured something else out – but Barry had made a choice, and he was stuck with it.

Barry felt glued to the ground, staring at Wells who was tinkering with something on a tablet and Barry’s heart felt like it was ready to beat out of his chest. Barry hadn’t felt this way in a long while.

He was certain now that Wells was the Reverse Flash, as Gideon had told him, but he still felt nervous at the possibility that he had gotten something gravely wrong.

“Mr. Allen,” Wells suddenly spoke up. “If you have something to say, I’d be happy to hear it.” Wells look up at Barry and he smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Barry wasn’t sure how Cisco and Caitlin ever trusted this man.

Barry was in his suit, he was prepared to run, “I know.”

Wells raised an eyebrow and continued to smile, “Know what?”

“I know who you are,” Barry said. His voice nearly cracked. “I know you killed my mother. I know you’re from the future. I know you’re the Reverse Flash.”

Barry saw as Wells’ face morphed into something angrier, and Barry needed to run now.

Barry sped away. He ran as fast as he could toward the warehouse, where he knew Len was waiting, where he knew Len was hiding. Barry didn’t bother to look back, but he could envision the lightning at his heels – he could feel the Reverse Flash chasing him.

Barry stopped in the location he needed to, and there he stood – the man in yellow. The man who had been living at the corner of Barry’s mind for years, but this time, his mask was down, and Wells was the one smiling at him.

“It’s about time you found out,” Wells said. “But I’m afraid it’s too late. Things are already in motion.”

“What’s in motion?” Barry demanded. He tried not to look at the stain on the concrete floor, he needed Wells to stand there. That’s where Len would shoot him. “Why don’t you just kill me?”

“You act like you know everything, but you don’t really know anything,” Wells said and let out a cruel laugh. “I wanted to kill you; I really did. But no, I need you.”

Barry half expected Wells to say something about his evil plan, Barry wanted to ask but he didn’t want to interrupt. Wells was walking, pacing, he would be on the spot any moment now.

“Need me for what?” Barry asked.

“You don’t need to know now,” Wells said. “But the time will come when you’re ready.”

“Ready for what?” Barry let his voice raise to a shout. “Why the hell did you kill my mother, and what did you _do_ to me!?”

“Now that,” Wells said and tutted. “I do not know. The Speed Force works in odd ways, and you were not supposed to be born 400 years ago. The Flash I knew was born 1989. You’re different than him, but very much the same in all the right ways. It’s possible I broke the time continuum by traveling, but I think it’s more likely the Speed Force is protecting you somehow,” poison etched into Wells voice. “It never liked me all that much. But it protected you and it punished me.”

Barry watched with bated breath as Wells stepped into the right spot, and Barry saw the ice shoot out. It moved in slow motion for Barry, but since Wells seemed unprepared, he didn’t move, and the ice hit him.

Wells shouted, and Barry sped forward to punch him, but Wells moved too fast, he vibrated and blocked his punch.

Barry saw as Len emerged from the shadows wearing his cold gear and shot again, “I’m sorry, but the conversation was really dragging,” he said in his Cold drawl. “I was getting a little frosty.”

Wells was iced to the ground and Barry was ready to strike, but Wells vibrated, and the ice cracked away. Barry watched and Wells grabbed Len, the cold gun clattered to the ground.

Barry was about to rush over and grab it when Wells spoke, his hand vibrating, hovering near Len, “Don’t think about it, Flash. Or I might have to kill him.”

Barry didn’t know if he was fast enough to stop Wells. But he waited and held his breath.

Len didn’t seem afraid on the outside, but Barry could see some panic play behind his eyes, “Now I only get frisky with one speedster, and you’re not that pretty,” Len said.

Wells growled and his eyes glowed red, “You and him!?” he yelled at Barry. “You don’t – that can’t happen. That’s not how it’s supposed to happen!”

Barry could see now that something dangerous, more dangerous than he had seen before took over the Reverse Flash, “He’s joking,” Barry lied. “Of course, we’re not together, he’s my enemy.”

“No,” Wells shook his head. “I’m not _buying_ it.”

Barry was silent and Wells spoke again, “You like bits of wisdom, right? Well, I have some wisdom for you,” Wells hand continued to vibrate, and he stared at Len than back to Barry. “If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer,” Wells spat. “Even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death –”

Barry watched in horror as Wells pushed his hand through Len’s abdomen. Len screamed and Wells threw him to the ground.

“But change is law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.”

Then the Reverse Flash was gone.

Barry sped over to Len, ripped his mask down and knelt beside him. Everything came to a slow and all that Barry saw was Len and nothing else. Len was on the floor, eyes closed, breathing, but slow. Barry put a hand behind Len’s head and began to cry, “Len, please stay with me. Please, I can’t lose another person I love, please.”

Len’s eyes slowly opened, and he managed a smile, “So you love me, Scarlet?”

“I do,” Barry can tell Len struggled to speak. “Please stay.”

“Not everyone is immortal like you, Scarlet,” Len maintained his sly voice even until the end. “I already told you I’m not afraid to die.”

Barry looked at the bleeding in Len’s abdomen, he could feel Len’s slowing pulse in the hand wrapped around Len’s neck and tried to smile too. Despite all his instincts telling him to scream, “I suppose not.”

“Kiss me, Barry,” Len asked before closing is eyes.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/153646017@N03/50742189723/in/dateposted-public/)

Barry complied, leaning in, but before his lips touched Len’s own, he paused. This may be the last man he ever truly loves. Barry thought back to everyone he cared about before, about the men who died under his watch, the people he couldn’t save.

Barry felt a resolve deep inside of him, to make this kiss matter. His lips touched Len’s, he closed his eyes and Barry could feel Len’s smile. He could feel the warmth in Len’s lips sapped by a clammy cold.

But only a moment after, Barry felt a warmth rise up in his stomach. He felt the warmth travel up to Len’s lips and the cold go away. Barry opened his eyes and saw that same familiar glow from so long ago.

Barry kept his lips pressed to Len’s as the glow painted over Len’s skin. It was so bright that Barry had to close his eyes again, and it nearly burned to kiss Len now. When the heat stopped, he leaned away and looked at Len again.

Len opened his eyes with a gasp, a fluttering of light leaving his lips. Len was covered in the bright glow. Barry saw as the hole in Len’s abdomen burned brighter and Barry felt it like heat on a summer’s day. Then, just as quickly as it came, the glow vanished.

Len looked brighter, healthier, his wound was healed, and he looked down, “What did you just do, Barry?”

“I don’t –” Barry was speechless. “That’s never happened before.” Barry suddenly tensed and looked around. The Reverse Flash had sped away, but there was no telling if he’d come back.

Barry pulled up his cowl and turned on his comms, he hoped, God he _prayed_ that Cisco or Caitlin would be the ones to pick up, “Someone please answer. Please.”

He gasped in relief when he heard Cisco come over the comms.

 _“Barry?”_ Cisco said. _“What happened? We didn’t think you were doing Flash duties today?”_

“Cisco listen to me carefully,” Barry said slowly. “I need you to shut down STAR Labs, I need you to turn off all the cameras and cut off these communicators. Got it? Do it in twenty seconds.”

_“Okay.”_

Barry turned off the comms and grabbed Len. He looked again to see if there was an injury, the blood was still wet on Cold’s sweater, but Barry saw that there was healthy skin underneath, “I’m taking you to STAR Labs.”

Barry took Len and sped away before Len could protest.

They were in the cortex now and Barry held Len steady. He brought Len to a gurney in the cortex and pushed when it seemed like Len was going to stand up, “I don’t care if you look healed. I’m not taking that chance.”

Barry looked up and saw Cisco and Caitlin both staring.

“Is – ” Cisco stammered and pointed. “Is that Captain Cold?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Len snapped. His voice was harsh and despite the brightness that overtook his skin, Barry could tell he seemed shocked. He had just had a hand go through him, that would traumatize anyone.

“Caitlin,” Barry said. “I need you to do a full health check on him, okay?”

Caitlin didn’t ask questions. She just nodded and began gathering materials.

“No way am I letting that happen,” Len said roughly and tried to sit up again – Barry just pushed him down.

“I don’t care what you want! You just had a hand go straight fucking through you!” Barry yelled at him. “Now you stay down and let them check you, or I swear to God I’ll –”

“You’ll what?” Len said daringly. “I’m healed, Scarlet. And we have a problem we need to solve. I don’t need to agree to anything.”

“Please,” Barry said now. He said it softly.

Len’s ire deflated and Barry felt him relax under his hand, “Fine.”

* * *

Len still felt the heat go through him; he could still feel the gaping hole in him – but it was gone. He stared at his abdomen, which was now bare, since Dr. Snow had insisted on him taking off his jacket and sweater. He felt cold.

Not only was the wound from the Reverse Flash healed, but all the scars of Len’s past were healed, as well. Len wasn’t sure how to feel about it. It had been so long since he’d had no scars, he hadn’t been this way since he was a child. Len could feel something like tears well up in his eyes and he had to fight to keep them down. He couldn’t _cry_ , he was Captain Cold for Christ’s sake. He was criminal. He was a liar. He was… he was in love with a hero.

Len looked up at Barry who was staring at him with worry, “Tell me, Caitlin, what’s going on?”

Barry had already explained the situation to Snow and Cisco. They were both rightfully put-out, but after the whole story they took the idea of their mentor Wells being an evil speedster quite well. They still seemed particularly uncomfortable with Len, however. He didn’t blame them – he had kidnapped both of them after all.

“He has the same microtears you do,” Dr. Snow explained. “You obviously transferred some of… whatever made you the way you are to _him_.”

“But –” Barry ran a hand through his hair. “That’s never happened before. Does that mean he’s… like me?” Barry looked like he was about to cry, and honestly if he started Len couldn’t bet that the waterworks wouldn’t start on his end.

“I can’t tell you that, Barry,” Dr. Snow said. “There’s signs of Speed Force in his system, like you. But that could just be the remaining effects of you healing him. Otherwise, we can only tell with time.”

Cisco, who had otherwise been silent through all this stared between Barry and Len, “Are you two together or something?”

Barry blushed a bright scarlet and Len couldn’t help but think his nickname was fitting.

“Or something,” Barry said.

Len was still reeling at the possibility he was now immortal, so he couldn’t quite appreciate the look on Barry’s face like he wanted to. He didn’t want to think about it.

Cisco just nodded in response.

“What are our next steps?” Len needed to ask. _Someone_ needed to remain on task in this damn group.

“I’ve already searched all of Central City,” Barry said.

“When?” Len thought he would have noticed that.

“When you were getting a CAT scan,” Barry explained. “I searched but I couldn’t find Wells. And I haven’t seen him appear, so he must be in hiding. I don’t know where else to look and I think we’re just playing the waiting game.”

“The waiting game isn’t something we want to be playing, Barry,” Len said.

It was then that they heard a bang in the cortex, Len was up and ready and Barry was, as well.

But the voice that followed relaxed Len.

“Flash!” the voice shouted. “Flash, I need your help.”

Everyone shuffled out of the medical room and as they turned the corner, they were all faced with Iris West in the cortex.

“He took Eddie, Flash,” Iris said. “The speedster, he took Eddie!”

“How many people knew about this before we did?” Cisco asked from the sidelines. 

“Just Len and Iris,” Barry said and walked up to Iris. “It was a man in yellow?”

“Yes!” Iris looked angry, her forehead was crinkled, her fists were closed. But she lacked an urgency behind her eyes, “You need to find him, Barry. You _need_ to. Where’s Dr. Wells?”

Iris took a gun out of a purse and brandished it, “I’m going to kill him.”

Barry took the gun out of her hand lightly and set it down on the cortex table, “I already went looking for Wells, Iris. We’re trying to figure out what to do next, I’m sorry but I couldn’t find Wells – I’ll look for Eddie too, maybe Wells left him somewhere."

“Does anyone have any ideas?” Barry asked the room.

Len watched carefully as Iris sat down on the cortex table and leaned back a little. She seemed distressed enough and it’s not as if Len was going to police someone’s grief but – Len stepped forward and Iris snapped her head up, she grabbed the gun and pointed it at him. She shot.

But just as quickly as he saw her act, Barry had sped in front and gotten shot himself

“Shit,” Barry hissed. He grabbed his shoulder. Len _should_ have worried but considering the situation… He turned his attention back to Iris.

Dr. Caitlin Snow tackled Iris to the ground, and Len would have taken time to admire the impeccable form, but instead Len didn’t hesitate to grab the discarded gun. He took it and right as it appeared that Iris was about to overtake Caitlin he shot.

Iris gasped when the bullet entered her chest. Caitlin was breathing hard as she rose up. And Len watched as Iris’s body began to ripple in waves – what was left was a man without a face.

Len suddenly remembered that Barry had been shot. He hadn’t exactly forgotten, but there were more pressing matters to attend to. Len turned back and saw that Barry was grasping his shoulder – he was hissing in pain, but the blood pool didn’t _seem_ to be spreading.

“Your red suit makes it really damn hard to see how hurt you are,” Len said and came forward to look at Barry’s shoulder.

“Did – how did you know it wasn’t Iris when you shot?” Barry asked.

“I didn’t,” Len said.

“I won’t tell her you said that.”

Len resisted the urge to tell Barry that he didn’t _care_ what Iris thought about him. In fact, Len didn’t care what anyone in this room thought about him – the exception was Barry. It was only Barry.

God, Len was fucked.

Len reached out to touch Barry when another yellow glow erupted, he didn’t stop. He felt that same warmth that saved him.

Caitlin was there now, she didn’t touch him, “Don’t let go,” she warned.

“I’m not planning to,” Len snapped.

Then the glow disappeared, and Barry was staring at his shoulder. And then Barry looked at Len like he was the second coming, “I’m healed.”

“Don’t you usually heal?” Len asked in the hope that this was a usual occurrence.

“Not that quick,” Barry said and rolled his shoulder. “And not in that way. No glowing usually happens.”

And so, Len was faced with the reality that not only might he be an immortal, but he might have some weird ass healing ability like Barry. What the fuck.

“What the fuck,” Len whispered, more to himself than anyone else.

Cisco spoke up, since during the whole ordeal he seemed to be staring like a lost dog, “Wait. Okay, so that’s Hannibal Bates,” Cisco gestured to the body on the ground.

Len recognized that name. The shape shifter Barry had told him about. At least it wasn’t the telepathic gorilla Barry had mentioned. Len never thought he’d be so glad to see a shape shifter over a telepathic gorilla (what the hell had become his life?) 

“Hannibal Bates can only turn into people he has touched,” Cisco said and paced. “How exactly did he turn into Iris? Who I’m pretty sure Bates has never met before? I mean – I haven’t even really met her!” Cisco ran a hand through his hair and mumbled, “Well, save for those times she made me coffee, but that was a while ago. Also how did he get out of his cell,” Cisco was then typing at a computer and Len had to look away because his brain was just about ready to melt.

Len really wished he was robbing a bank right now.

Barry tensed under Len’s hand and Len pulled away, “And Bates had her purse.” Barry said.

Len shot back when Barry sped away. Then he reappeared with what Len really hoped was the real Iris West in his arms.

“She was in the hallway,” Barry laid her down gently on a gurney that Len swore was not just there. Barry probably sped it there without him noticing.

Caitlin walked up and looked at her, “She’s knocked out, but it doesn’t seem like she has a head injury. She might be drugged. She’s breathing steady, so we may just need to wait for her to wake up.”

“Do you think Eddie’s actually been taken?” Barry asked. “Maybe she was coming for help, and Bates ambushed her.”

“Uh, guys,” Cisco said and looked up at all of them. “I know that we’ve just had a series of strange problems and events happen. And Cold looks like he’s going to pass out –”

Everyone turned to face him, and Len did his best to look like he wasn’t about to pass out. He was Captain Cold. Captain Cold didn't pass out. 

“– But uh,” Cisco seemed a bit frantic. “The particle accelerator is turning back on.”

“That’s impossible,” Caitlin said uselessly.

“Obviously not, geniuses,” Len said. He finally pulled away from Barry and looked around, he saw his ruined sweater on the ground and pulled it up and over his head. His parka was around somewhere but he didn’t bother to look for it. “Alright, listen up.”

Cisco and Caitlin looked to Barry who just shook his head and gestured to Len. Both geniuses were at his attention and Len took a deep breath.

“What does it mean now that the accelerator is turning on? Can you turn it off?”

Cisco shook his head, “I have no idea how it turned on in the first place. We’d have to find the power source.”

“Okay,” Len nodded. “And if you don’t find the power source, or can’t disable it, what happens then?”

“The metas,” Caitlin was the one to answer. “They’re in holding cells, if the particle accelerator turns on then they’re dead.”

“They need to be moved,” Len said. “Got a plan for that?”

Barry spoke up, “Iron Heights is already aware of the fact the Flash is holding metas somewhere. Cisco was working with them to get proper cells up and running for them. But I don’t think Iron Heights is ready for that yet.”

“They are!” Cisco said brightly. “They are, I just got the call yesterday morning. The transfer was supposed to happen next week.”

“The transfer needs to happen _today_. And it needs to happen quickly. Alright, Barry,” he turned to Barry. “You need to go to the police station and let them know the transfer needs to happen today. Put on your Flash persona, get really desperate about it. They can’t say no, otherwise,” Len may have let the metas out any other day. But this wasn’t any other day. He might be breaking a few useful people out of Iron Heights on another occasion. “Otherwise, we’ll have to come up with another plan. Got it?”

“Got it,” Barry pulled up his cowl and sped away

“Cisco,” they were without Barry now and Len was thankful for the fact that both scientists appeared to still be at attention. “You need to start searching for that power source. See if you can disable it.”

Cisco nodded and started typing vigorously on the computer

“And Caitlin,” Len paused. “I guess you just need to watch over Iris, be there when she wakes up and ask about this whole… Freddie situation.”

“It’s Eddie. I think she might be talking about Detective Thawne.”

Len had heard the name before. 

“It doesn’t matter.”

“And what are you going to do?” Caitlin asked

Len patted his pockets and was relieved to find he hadn’t yet lost his phone, “A murderous speedster is on the loose and he apparently wants me dead. I’ll be calling in reinforcements.”

* * *

Lisa wasn’t a dumbass. She was intelligent, independent and just a little bit insane. But she had never been stupid. Lisa and her brother could go months without speaking to one another, and it had been quite a while since their last meet-up – where Lenny had told her that things with the Flash were “handled.”

Yet, he never explained what exactly “handled” meant. And then Lenny didn’t reach out about any jobs, or any semblance of a plan to make more money. Captain Cold hadn’t been spotted on the streets ever since their last job. Lisa was a big girl, she could go off and rob places without her brother’s permission, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t a bit concerned about what was going on with her brother. In fact, she had a strong suspicion that the recent radio silence had something to do with the Flash.

So, while she _was_ in the midst of planning a job and usually wouldn’t have picked up her ringing phone, when she saw Lenny’s name on the small screen, she didn’t hesitate to answer.

“Brother o’ mine, how I’ve missed your voice,” she said and propped the phone between her ear and her shoulder. She was looking at a set of blueprints and thinking about what the best entrance routes would be.

_“Lise, I need you to pick up Mick and both of you need to come to STAR Labs. Bring your guns. Be as inconspicuous as possible, please. No attracting attention.”_

While Lisa was ready to drop everything and help her brother with whatever problem he had – she couldn’t exactly let him know that. The mention of STAR Labs also intrigued her, this had something to do with the Flash.

“Lenny, I’m planning a job right about now,” Lisa said and took a white marker to circle where she thought the best entrance was. “You’ve given me no notice, and I’m quite shocked you expect me to just drop everything and come. Also, why can’t you call Mick yourself? And why do _I_ need to be involved?”

 _“I think you two should drive together, two birds one stone,”_ Lenny sighed at the other end of the line. _“Also, I know this is untimely but there are few people I trust to call about this. You and Mick are on the short list.”_

Okay, Lisa was done acting uninterested. She set down the blueprint and took the phone in her hand.

“What’s going on?” she asked more seriously. Lenny usually sounded serious, but there was something more in his voice that had her worried.

 _“I’ll tell you that when you get here,”_ Lenny said. _“This isn’t exactly a secure line. I’ll meet you outside when you arrive, just text me. How far away are you?”_

Lisa looked around and gathered her purse, gold gun, and shoved on a jacket. She was already out the door and ready to get in her car and pick-up Mick, “After I get Mick, probably about 20 minutes.”

 _“Okay,”_ Lenny sighed again. Now Lisa was _really_ worried. Her brother didn't sigh this much. _“And Lise?_

“Yes, Lenny?”

_“Just trust me on this. You’re in for something unexpected.”_

“What? Have you finally fucked the Flash?” Lisa said jokingly. Lenny’s crush on the man was no secret. She was in her car and turned the key. She was about to drive when she realized there was still silence on the other end of the call. “Lenny? You there?"

 _“Just get here quick.”_ And then he hung up.

“Oh my god, my brother’s fucking the Flash,” Lisa said to no one in the silence of the car. And then she smiled. “Mick owes me _so_ much money.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks so much for the art by the lovely Aquafolie.


	7. Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hour of departure has arrived and we go our ways; I to die, and you to live. Which is better? Only God knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I had posted this last chapter, but apparently not! I'm sorry about that.

Mick stood in the middle of STAR Labs. He acted like he was inspecting his heat gun, but really, he was just observing the moment. There was some shouting intermixed with differentiating conversations. Eight people stood in the room including himself.

Mick had already met the Flash, Caitlin Snow and Cisco Ramon on differentiating circumstances. Lisa was chatting with Ramon while it appeared Snart and Flash were having a conversation with – West. Iris West. And Detective Thawne. Mick had never met West, but he had seen Thawne before. The guy was at the police station last time he was arrested.

Thawne was apparently missing but found quite quickly. The metahumans were already moved – but the particle accelerator was still about to turn on. Mick had been trying to understand what exactly what going on, but he had it down to this:

Flash’s enemy, another speedster, had attacked Snart and was harassing Flash. It seemed possible that there was another timeline in which the Flash was intended to end up with Iris West. This information was garnered from Eddie Thawne (who was apparently related to this enemy speedster), and some futuristic AI named Gideon (according to a future newspaper written by Iris West-Allen. Which meant that the Flash’s last name was Allen, and these people were horrible at keeping his identity secret. One Google search and Mick would know. It’s not as if he cared, but it was still the principle of the matter.) The enemy speedster is from the future and hasn’t as of yet reappeared, but he was set to appear at any moment.

Mick had been thinking on a motive to kill Snart, but based on Lisa’s insistence on him giving her money (Mick had bet Snart would fuck the Flash later than she bet) … Then…

“Hold up,” Mick said. He hadn’t shouted, but based on the way everyone turned to him, he had spoken loud enough to get attention. “The evil speedster wants to kill Snart over here because he’s fucking the Flash?”

The Flash went nearly as red as his cowl and Snart was the one to answer.

“That’s the working assumption,” Snart drawled.

“This guy needs things to go his way in order for him to even _exist_ in the future,” Mick continued. “He’s stuck.”

“Hm?” Flash hummed.

“He’s stuck here, and he wants you to bring him back,” Mick thought the answer made the most obvious sense. Ever since he learned five minutes ago that speedsters were capable of time travel. “That’s why he hasn’t killed you. But he wants to get Snart out of the way, and possibly why he bothered to let Thawne in on it – wants to protect his angles.”

“That’s why he needs the particle accelerator,” Cisco snapped his fingers. “Flash, you've already time traveled once, but it was accidental, and you could barely control it. With the accelerator you could…”

It was Mick’s time to zone out, now he just needed to know his cue to set fire to things.

* * *

Barry felt just a bit overwhelmed. He hadn’t had this much action in his life since the ‘60s. And he really meant the 1860s.

Barry was also not used to this many people in the same timeframe giving a shit about whatever happened to him. Of course, Mick and Lisa were questionable. They were called in primarily to help Len – who was now a target because of Barry.

The plan was ready to go and Barry was in the accelerator. Cisco estimated the accelerator was ready to turn on in half an hour.

Barry would act as the bait; he’d sit in the accelerator. Cisco would turn back on cameras and communications – hopefully, at that point the Reverse Flash would show up and make his proposition to Barry. Mick, Eddie and Len stuck together on the opposite end of the accelerator – Mick and Eddie both acted as somewhat of protection. Since Len was now a potential target, and it appeared that Eddie was Reverse Flash’s ancestor. Any threat toward Len would be a potential threat toward Eddie. 

Caitlin waited on the wings with her own cold gun and Iris kept her company with a gun of her own. Cisco and Lisa were close by with anti-meta cuffs. Ready to throw in Barry’s direction once Reverse Flash was distracted by something Cisco had cooked up.

Distract. Incapacitate. Get the cuffs on. And then kill.

But something about killing an incapacitated man, even one as dangerous as the Reverse Flash, suddenly felt wrong to Barry. He had been so sure he would kill him in battle, they would fight, he would win – he knew he needed to get rid of the man. He was dangerous, he had already killed many others and he wouldn’t hesitate to kill more. Barry needed to kill the man in yellow, but it still felt wrong.

And even after the Reverse Flash was gone, Barry worried about Len. He worried that he had just ruined the man’s life – and despite saving him had damned Len to a fate worse than death. This was a moral conundrum.

 _“You ready, Flash?”_ Cisco said through the comms.

“Ready,” Barry responded.

Barry expected the moment STAR Labs systems were back on to be much more dramatic. For there to be some sort of whooshing sound or technological clinking – but instead it was just silent. He saw the blinking lights of the cameras in the accelerator turn on and that was the only indication that things had gone to plan.

He took a breath and in the midst of that breath the man in yellow stood before him.

“About time,” Barry said. “I was wondering if you would show up again.”

The Reverse Flash was buzzing all over, that same blur, Barry wondered why he bothered. But he didn’t ask.

Barry spoke before he could, “I know you need me to take you back.”

Reverse Flash went still, and he pulled down his cowl to reveal Wells face, “The accelerator will turn on any minute now,” he said. “Run, you have to go past Mach 2 and open up the portal for me to go home.”

“Where is home?” Barry stood closer. Wells stepped back.

“Not necessary for you to know that,” Wells said. “All I need is for you to open the portal. But in the interest of sating your curiosity, hundreds of years in the future. And I’m sure you know by now I’m not Harrison Wells.”

“You’re Eobard Thawne,” Barry said. “Though that name means nothing to me. I have no idea who you are, and I still don’t know why you killed my mother.”

“I wanted to kill _you_ , we have been fighting for decades in my time,” he explained and laughed. “But plans went wrong. You followed me and saved yourself. And then you grabbed me and threw me back to the year 2000, the year I had originally intended to go. Harrison Wells was the perfect cover, I knew he would make the accelerator and I knew what I needed to do.”

“You haven’t been around as long as I have,” Barry said.

“The other version of you made a mistake,” his mouth popped on the ‘k’ and he shook his head. “If he didn’t throw me back through time. If he left me in the 1600s, I would have probably died by now, _definitely_ died,” he sounded bitter. “But like I said before – ”

“The Speed Force gave me a gift,” Barry understood now. He was protected, the timeline had warped, and he became a Barry that was never meant to exist. It made some sense, why Central City felt so familiar. Time was bleeding.

“Exactly,” Reverse Flash said. “So now all I need you to do is let me go, let me travel back and I won’t kill your friends.”

“You already murdered one,” Barry probed, he tried to sound appropriately hurt. This was a test, to see if Wells really believed that he had killed Cold.

“That was necessary,” he snapped. “I always admired Cold’s work, it’s unfortunate, but I won’t have a worthless thief meddle with the timeline any further.”

“Then I’m sure you’ll be disappointed to hear that my death didn’t take,” Cold’s voice drawled from behind Wells. Barry watched as Reverse Flash spun around and ran toward Cold. Barry followed, but right as Wells reached Cold – the image of Len flickered – and Wells fell forward trying to grab a mirage. Barry was _very_ impressed at Cisco’s handiwork.

It was then that another shot of ice erupted and hit Wells, Barry flashed forward to see Caitlin nod at him from the wings and Wells erupted with a scream and cracked out of the ice. But just as soon as he did, he was hit with another blast, this time a pretty Gold. Wells vibrated out but was only hit again.

Barry saw Cisco near Caitlin; he saw Cisco take the cuffs and throw them in slow motion to Barry. Barry grabbed them and ran forward; he was grateful to see a blast of heat emerge right as it appeared Wells was ready to attack. Wells screamed out and Barry saw his burnt face, and then another blast of cold hit him, this time from the actual Cold – and Wells feet were frozen to the ground.

Barry took the cuffs and put them on Wells. Who now kneeled on the ground, doubled over from what Barry imagined was pain. Getting blasted in the face with cold, then gold, then heat was bound to hurt.

As the Reverse Flash heaved, powerless in the cuffs, Barry hesitated.

“Yes!” he heard Cisco say in triumph and Barry looked around to see everyone gathered to stare at the man who was taken down.

Wells screamed and thrashed, “I’m going to kill you all!” he said. “I’m going to kill you!”

Then Wells paused and stared at Barry, “Don’t you want the chance to save your mother, Flash? To reverse all I’ve done.”

“I don’t,” Barry answered honestly. “I don’t, really. You’ve already talked so much about meddling with time, and you really think I’d be idiotic enough to go back?”

“The timeline is already torn to _shreds_ ,” Eobard hissed. He was Eobard now, Barry realized. It wasn’t fair to think of him in the terms he had created – this wasn’t Harrison Wells – this was Eobard Thawne. “You think time won’t punish you soon enough? Because I said the Speed Force liked you. That doesn’t mean _time_ does. Time reaches all of us. Time will kill you soon enough.”

Eobard spun to look at Cold, “And _you_ ,” Eobard laughed again, the maniacal one Barry had grown to cringe at. “You think that time won’t come back to kill you? You are meant to die. The Speed Force can’t protect you forever.”

“I’m not afraid of death,” Len said and looked at Barry.

Barry began to vibrate his hand in the same way Eobard had done, just hours ago.

“Woah,” Cisco spoke up now. “I didn’t know we’d be killing the guy. He’s cuffed, Flash. We have cells that can hold him at Iron Heights.”

“Really?” Lisa said. “You plan on letting the man who tried to kill my brother live?”

Cisco sighed, “What I’m saying is that he might be bad, but this isn’t _our_ decision.”

“I vote kill the guy,” Mick grunted.

“You know I’m still here,” Eddie said. “I’m a Detective and it’s taking all my power not to arrest at least three of you,” he said and gestured to Lisa, Len, and Mick. “If you kill this man, I _will_ have to do something about it.”

“Why?” Iris said. “Why, Eddie? He kidnapped you, he’s an evil speedster from the future. This isn’t the same as –” she stumbled on her words. “As some regular crook on the street. This guy killed a lot of people and he’s not subject to the same laws as we are.”

“We’re not meant to make these decisions,” Caitlin butted in. “That’s not our call, just like Cisco said. Flash –”

Eobard was silent, just smiling up at everyone, like he admired the tension.

“You don’t need to keep calling me Flash,” Barry pulled down his cowl. “Lisa, Mick, my name is Barry Allen. I’m a CSI at the CCPD and I’m also an immortal who is over 400-years-old.”

Lisa and Mick just nodded.

“Eddie,” Barry turned to the blonde. “I know we don’t talk much at the station so consider this a proper introduction. And Iris,” she looked a bit shocked and Barry smiled. “I’d prefer you keep the immortal bit out of whatever story you’ll be writing about this.”

They had already heard a lot of information over the comms, so hopefully this cleared some things up. And as always, it was best to step out in front of something then let it find its way out in the open without your consent.

“This man killed my mother hundreds of years ago,” Barry said. “And he’s killed many more since then. The cells are Iron Heights are not infallible, and neither am I,” Barry vibrated his hand again. “Eddie, if I kill this man, I’ll leave. I won’t put you in the position to arrest me and I won’t see you again – ”

“Barry,” Eddie said slowly. “You don’t have to do this.”

“No, I do,” Barry said and just as a few shouted out –

A shot of ice froze Eobard’s body. And Len stood over it and pushed, shattering the block of ice into thousands of pieces. Barry stood and stared, as did everyone else except for Lisa and Mick who didn’t look surprised.

“I already have a record,” Len said. “Feel free to arrest me, Detective.” Len laid out his wrists. “I’ve escaped once, and I’ll escape again. Or we can skip a few steps… you let me, Mick and my sister leave. One of those scientists files a missing persons report in a few days for Wells and the problem goes away.”

Len grinned, “Your choice.”

It was then that Mick burst out a hearty laugh and Lisa giggled along.

Barry glanced at Cisco and Caitlin who were both frozen on the spot. He imagined they weren’t quite prepared for this, and he knew this was something that would stick with you. Wells was their mentor and they had learned only a short time ago who he really was – now he was dead.

Eddie untensed and spoke up, “Okay, but please go before I change my mind.”

“You don’t have tell me twice,” Lisa blew a kiss to Cisco and began to walk away. Mick followed and Len gave a parting look to Barry –

“Don’t be a stranger,” Len said, and Barry couldn’t help but smile as they all walked away.

Eddie took a deep sigh and put his head in his hands, Barry saw Iris walk up and hug him, “I think we’ll be going too. Barry, I’ll be sure to send you the article before I give it to my editor, okay?”

“I appreciate that, Iris.”

Iris and Eddie both began to walk away and soon only Cisco, Caitlin and Barry were left in the accelerator.

“The accelerator is still set to turn on,” Cisco said. “We don’t know how to turn it off.”

“Eobard wanted it to work so we could create a time portal,” Barry explained. “That means it’s not dangerous, it won’t explode like the first time and it will turn off on its own.”

“Are we sure of that?” Caitlin asked.

“I can’t be sure of anything, Caitlin,” Barry said. “But I’ll stay here and if there’s a sign of something going wrong, I’ll call both of you and we can solve it. Go ahead and leave, try and sleep – because you’ve both had a very long day.”

“Barry,” Cisco walked close and laid a hand on Barry’s shoulder. “We’re not angry with you. You know that right?”

“I know,” Barry smiled softly. “But I also understand if you two want to take a break from the labs for a while.”

Caitlin and Cisco both nodded.

They left.

And Barry was left alone.

* * *

Two months later, Len laid on his couch and stared up at the ceiling. He had just completed a job, he hoped it would make things feel right, but it didn’t.

“You haven’t called him,” Lisa said above him. “You said "don't be a stranger," but now you're the stranger. Have you contacted him at all?”

Len didn’t bother to question who she was asking about. It was obvious, “I’ve texted.”

“Isn’t the guy horrible with technology?”

“And how would you know that?” Len raised an eyebrow at Lisa.

“I’ve been chatting with Cisco,” Lisa explained. “He tells me these sorts of things. I also know that the Flash has apparently been moping around and thinks that you hate him.”

“I don’t hate him,” Len said. He didn’t. He just felt like he needed time, Len needed to feel some sense of normalcy after all the events Barry had put him through. Barry did not have a sense of normalcy.

The idea of who Len was as a person also began to haunt him. He felt like he loved Barry, truly. He wouldn’t say it out loud in the hopes that somehow the feeling would go away. Len wanted to move on, he wanted to be the same person he was when he first met the Scarlet Speedster. But he couldn’t reverse time. And he wasn’t the same person. He never would be again.

“Then why don’t you call him?”

“Why do you care?” Len asked his sister.

“Because I care about you, Lenny,” Lisa said. “And I can tell you’ve been trying to avoid the fact that you’ve changed. You don’t seem as happy doing jobs anymore,”

“I’m just as effective,” Len said. “I’m very good at the jobs. I will always be good at them, and I’m a wanted criminal – what you think I can somehow retire and be washed of all my sins?” he sat up. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Is that what you want?” Lisa frowned at him. He hated that look on her, she was supposed to be terrifying not sweet. “To settle down?”

“No,” Len admitted. He couldn’t imagine himself with a white picket fence and a yard full of kids. That ship had sailed. “I still like the thrill.”

“But do you enjoy the thrill of being a criminal?”

“What are you my therapist?” Len stood up and walked toward his kitchen. He needed something to get rid of this damned headache he had been nursing. “For all we know I’ll be around forever, I can figure this out with the extra time.”

Lisa just followed, “That’s the issue you haven’t been dealing with.”

“There is no issue until it becomes an issue,” Len said simply. He opened the kitchen cabinet and pulled out a bottle of pain pills. He popped a couple in his mouth and swallowed. “Dr. Snow told me that I still have remnants of it inside of me, that it hasn’t faded.”

“Are you bitter that the Flash saved you?”

Len explained all about his trials with Barry to Lisa. He felt like he owed it to her, since the possibility of immortality hung over his head.

“He didn’t even mean to,” Len said and sat on a kitchen stool.

“Would you have rather died?” Lisa sat next to him.

“I don’t know,” Len said.

“Do you love him?” Lisa asked.

Len paused, but then took a breath, “I do.”

“Then you can burn your bridges when you get to them,” Lisa said. “Stop being a dumbass and call him. I’m going out.”

That was more like the Lisa he knew. Len smirked and watched as she gathered her things around his apartment, but before she could leave, she said by the door, “I’m serious, Lenny. Just do what makes you happy.”

Len picked up his phone and navigated to the contacts page: Scarlet.

He took a steadying breath and waited for the ringer, one time, two times, and –

“ _Len! It’s so good to hear from you,_ ” Barry’s voice was ever bright. But Len could hear the strain.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go for dinner, tonight?” Len asked.

“ _Of course,_ ” there was so sense of hesitation in Barry’s voice and Len's shoulders began to relax ever so slightly. “ _Where to?_ ”

“I was thinking our usual place,” Len liked the drive over to the diner. It was a bit of a journey through the trees and it helped him get out of his head. “Ready at 7?”

“ _Want me to pick you up?_ ” Barry asked.

Len didn’t, really, “No, I like the drive.”

“ _Okay_ ,” Barry sounded a bit disappointed but didn’t press. Len wasn’t uncomfortable with Barry’s speed, but for a longer ride it was always a little disorienting. “ _I’ll be there at 7_.”

“Perfect.”

* * *

Barry arrived just on time, which wasn’t the usual considering his constant tardiness. He wanted to make an effort to show that he cared about Len a great deal. Barry felt just a bit nervous, his heart beat a little bit faster than a hummingbird’s wings and he took a deep breath and walked into the diner.

He waved hello to their usual waitress, Marlene, who smiled sweetly at him and gestured toward a coffee pot at the counter. Barry nodded enthusiastically and turned to see Len already sat at their usual booth with what looked to be a cup of water in front of him.

“No coffee this time?” Barry asked as he approached, and then slipped into the opposite end of the booth.

“I don’t usually drink coffee with dinner,” Len said. “I’ve only seen you do that.”

Barry shrugged, “I had an Italian friend who used to drink coffee after every meal, including dinner. And many people drink coffee with breakfast. It’s just become a habit for me. When I was younger, I used to drink beer or hard cider for every meal.”

“Seriously?” Len smirked.

“Clean water was often sparse,” Barry explained. “And even after boiling I was always a little concerned about getting sick. Of course, that wasn’t really a problem after I turned 25, but I had already gotten used to it by then. Then drinking alcohol with every meal eventually became taboo, though I’ve never been very fond of water… So, coffee became my new vice.”

Len hummed in acknowledgement but didn’t speak again.

“I wanted to ask you, Len,” Barry paused when Marlene came to set a coffee down in front of him. Then he began to speak again, “I need to know if you want to still be together.”

“Is that what we were? Together?” Len asked.

Barry tried not to flinch at the use of the word ‘were’ instead of ‘are.’

“I thought so,” Barry said. “I told you I love you; I still love you. I want to pursue a genuine relationship with you,” Barry was never much afraid to say it when it was true. “But I understand if you don’t want to be with me, because I’m probably someone who has the heaviest baggage of anybody you’ve even been with.”

“Scarlet,” Len furrowed his brows and leaned forward. “You talk so much about your baggage, but what about me? I’m a criminal. I’m a thief. And even though we haven’t fought for a while, Captain Cold and Flash are bound to fight again.”

“I don’t care,” Barry really didn’t. He had seen so much, and Len was still following a code. “Being a criminal isn’t a dealbreaker for me, you already know that. In fact, I’ve dated a criminal before.”

“Seriously?” Len asked now, brows unfurrowed and his expression a little weary, but curious. “And here I thought I was special.”

Barry smiled, “The 1920s were crazy times.”

“You’ll have to tell me all about it,” Len said and leaned back. “I really want to know; I want to know what you’ve learned and seen.”

Marlene came back and set down two orders of burgers in front of them, with a huge plate of fries, “I’m happy to see you both eating for once,” she said with a smile and turned to Len. “For a while there, I thought you might have been on a diet.”

Len smiled back, his expression was sweet, and Barry didn’t think he’d even seen that sort of face directed at anybody other than – well, Barry.

“Barry here convinced me to give it a try,” Len said. “Thank you, Marlene.”

“My pleasure,” she said and wiped both hands on her apron. “Let me know if you need anything else,” and then she walked away.

Len turned back to Barry, “The first time we came here she said you were the spitting image of a regular in the late '40s,” he picked up a fry and gestured with it. “That was you, wasn’t it?”

“For future reference, you’ll have to specify which '40s we’re talking about,” Barry said in a teasing tone. “But yes, I used to live in the area for a time.”

Len ate the fry and looked at Barry in an expression that Barry could only parse out as something between wonder and perplexity.

“You know,” Len said between bites. “There’s a possibility I’m going to be like you.”

Barry nodded; Caitlin had told him. Guilt boiled in his stomach; he hadn’t meant to do anything like that to Len – but he still felt horrible.

“I’m sorry,” Barry said.

“For what?” Len scoffed. “Saving my life? It’s not like you even knew this was a possibility. I’ve been speaking with Snow, and she told me it looks like the Speed Force takes to my body like a fish takes to water. She’s not sure why, since I don’t have any dark matter in my system. Though I don’t imagine it’s something as cheesy as the power of love that made this possible.”

Barry knew that Caitlin had been having regular calls with Len. After all, she’s the only doctor in Central City who really knew anything about Barry’s powers and affliction – she might have an idea about what happened to Len. And Len was right, despite their strong connection, Barry had loved many before – and he was never able to save or heal them. Something about Leonard Snart was different.

“You know another name for the Speed Force we cooked up is the Timestream,” Barry explained. “My speed, it’s not really anything physical – like going faster. When I go fast, we think it might actually be slowing things down around me. That’s also why I can travel through time. And that’s probably why my body isn’t affected by time. It’s all connected,”

Barry continued and took a quick bite from his burger. “My speed, the immortality, the healing, the time travel – none of those powers are independent of one another, they’re all because I am the center of the Timestream. I apparently generate the Speed Force and that’s why Eobard’s powers were limited. The particle accelerator just set those things in motion. So why is it that I’ve somehow given you health, which we still don’t know for how long… but I haven’t given you my other powers like speed? Have any weird vibrating hands recently? Maybe seen things go in slow motion?”

Len shook his head, “No, but I’ll be sure to mention it if it happens. You’re the god here, not me.”

Barry felt something quake inside of him at the mention of that, “I’m not a god.” He didn’t like that implication. “I’m still just a person.”

Len looked at him, “I’m glad you’re the one who got these powers. I’m glad you still believe that. You have a brightness inside of you,” Len said and took a napkin to wipe his hands. “A brightness that I don’t have. You’re _good_ , Barry. I’m not.”

“Yes,” Barry groaned. “You _are_. This conversation is growing old, I will never believe you’re not a good man.”

“I’m selfish –”

“You’re –” Barry was about to interrupt but Len held a finger up.

“Let me finish,” Len said. “I’m selfish. And because I’m selfish, I’ll let myself have what I want. Damn the consequences. Barry, I do…” Len took a breath and spoke softer, like he didn’t want anyone to overhear. “I do love you, and I want to stay together, whether for eternity or the rest of my lifetime.”

Barry smiled and he leaned forward over the table, and kissed him, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Len said. “Now let’s finish our damn food.”

* * *

The next year passed by and despite the difference in careers, Len was surprised to find that him and Barry made it work. They had to go through a fair share of problems – Len’s father had come back for one – but ultimately, issues were often solved before they even became issues.

Len grew fonder every day, closer to Barry, and as he fell in a deeper love – his love for the heist, for the crime, grew smaller.

So, when a strange man who called himself a ‘Time Master’ gave him a proposition to be a ‘legend,' to travel through time and defeat an immortal tyrant named Vandal Savage he felt like he wanted to take the offer.

“There’s another immortal out there and I never noticed?” Barry asked. He was in bed beside Len, they were both sat up against the headboard.

“That’s really the first thing you picked out of the conversation?” Len responded. “Also, of course you didn’t notice, Barry. You’ve been living in the United States all your life, there’s really more to the world than your small bubble.”

Len learned a lot more about Barry over that year, like how despite being so old, he was somewhat oblivious. He knew about history and he could recite books, poems and quotations. And yet, as large worldly things moved around him, he was still oblivious to the big connections.

“Do you want to go?” Barry asked next. He looked away for a moment and ran his hands through the sheets. Barry probably wanted him to stay.

“I do,” Len said honestly. “I know Mick is in it for the chance to steal riches and burn things all throughout time –”

“Your motivation isn’t stealing riches?”

“That’s part of it,” it’s not as if Len didn’t still enjoy doing heists. “I like the idea of being a part of something bigger.”

Barry’s expression softened, “You want to be a hero.”

“No,” Len said quickly. “I am _not_ a hero; I’ve never been one and I never will be. But I am interested in a change of pace.”

Barry gave him a look that said, ‘I disagree, but I understand arguing will get me nowhere _._ ’

Instead, Barry opted to say, “I think that this may be good for you, but I want to remain in contact as often as possible.”

“Plan to keep tabs on me, Scarlet?” Len smirked and bumped shoulders with Barry.

“If you need help, ask for it,” Barry said seriously. “I don’t even need some time machine to travel through time. I’m coming to help if you need it.”

“I still have the Speed Force in my system and my healing is remarkable,” Len said. “I don’t think I’ll need help.”

“I mean it, Len,” Barry looked in his eyes and laid a hand on his chest. “Please, promise me you’ll call if you need help.”

“I promise,” Len said.

He had warned Barry that he was a liar.

When the Oculus was about to explode and he stayed behind, he gave a passing thought to Barry. He remembered his promise and closed his eyes when the explosion happened.

For moment, he was truly dead – at least that’s what it seemed like. Then again, the Vanishing Point did not exist within the normal constraints of the time space continuum and he woke up in the Waverider.

He was alive and well, and nobody knew how the hell he managed to survive it. Len had watched Doctor Who for a time and when his brain was coming back online the best explanation was something “wibbly, wobbly, timey, wimey.”

The Legends wanted him to stay, but he just wanted to go back home. He'd had enough of being a 'legend.' 

He went back to Barry, who was appropriately pissed at the fact he almost died. But they never fought for long, and Barry forgave him.

The years passed.

Lisa got married to Cisco Ramon. They both had a beautiful girl, his lovely niece that he visited almost every weekend.

Him and Barry moved in together, they even got hitched to everybody’s surprise. And yes, Len was pardoned for his crimes as Captain Cold ever since he started saving the city with the Flash (much to his chagrin, it felt good.)

But those years passed, and the next year, and the next year, and the next years on before he looked in the bathroom mirror one day and realized his skin still looked the same. He hadn’t aged, his hair didn’t look white as one would expect, and he hadn’t grown any new wrinkles.

He stepped out of the bathroom and stumbled to the kitchen where Barry was making breakfast and he looked at Barry – who as always, looked the same.

“Scarlet,” he couldn’t help his voice from cracking just a bit. The moment had come, finally, where it felt inevitable.

“Yes?” Barry turned off the burners and spun around to look at him. “What is it, Len?”

“I haven’t aged, have I?”

Barry shook his head, he didn’t look surprised, “No.”

“Lisa has aged,” Len had even mentioned it the other day. She had gotten a little gray around the edges of her brown hair. “I – do I look younger than Lisa?”

Barry’s eyes pinched at the sides in concern, but he just nodded.

“I thought,” Len said slowly. “I believed that after the Oculus, years ago, that maybe that would change things.”

“It’s possible it still will,” Barry walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He gently led Len to the living room couch where they both sat down. Len leaned into Barry, who rubbed his shoulders. “You remember what Caitlin said after our last check-up?”

“She said the Speed Force was fading,” Len said. “From both our systems.”

“It will take time,” Barry said. “It's slow going. But I do believe we’ll pass when the time is right.”

“Will I pass away before my sister? How long will it take?” Len hated the thought of living without Lisa in the world. How many years would it take seeing those die around him before he passed?

“I don’t know,” Barry placed a kiss on Len’s forehead. “But I’ll be there for you no matter what. I love you.”

“I love you too,” and Len felt comforted.

He felt comforted to know that even if he goes on living forever, he’ll live forever with a man he loves. And Barry felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like this story could have gone on for ages with all the little moments in between, but I didn't let it get away from me. I might come back and re-write this in the future, but for now, it stays as it is. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
